#why is it always the victim's fault and the bullies win

[autisticlee]

sometimes I think about how I was legitimately the most hated and bullied kid in my entire class, and probably entire school. I knew this as a fact. there was nothing I could do about it. not just by the kids either, but the teachers/staff as well. all because I was autistic and unable to speak and they didn't want to treat me decently. and I ask why. (rhetorically of course, because I know all the excuses given as answers)

being an autistic kid and knowing damn well this is true, that you're the most hated person in the entire building with not a single person on your side, knowing you're the main target for everyone's aggression every day, is....truly something. you know. like carrying the weight of everyone's hatred and negativity on your back alone, being their punching bag, internalizing their hatred for then. from ages 4 to 18. nonstop. never getting better. never knowing why. not being able to stop it. never getting any help. on your own and alone. blamed for it all.

yet i'm simply told to "get over it/stop caring" and get blamed for it fucking me up and having a lasting effect. lmao ok. let me just forget more than half my life existed at this point and magically get better! thanks!

[zutarasbuff]

Found this somewhere on Tumblr, it infuriated me to a great extent and forced me to crush the “coloniser-colonial romance” accusation against the Zutara nation. For this, you need to read everything quite carefully that will be presented to you.

So people who accuse Zutara use this narrative that Zuko had a princely life as a colonizer, unlike Katara. Now look at the ground reality:

Katara’s mother Kya lied to Yon Rha that she was the last waterbender of the Southern Water Tribe to save her daughter. A similar act was done by Ursa (Zuko’s mother) who killed Firelord Azulon with her potion as part of her deal with Ozai to save the life of her son Zuko and got banished eventually. That makes us come to one certain conclusion:

Both Zuko and Katara spent greater part of their life without their mothers and this impacted their childhood badly as we find them dealing with the trauma of loss even after they hit puberty.

As if the absence of a mother was not enough, when Hakoda (Katara’s father) leaves with the fleet for the war, it’s almost the same time when we find Ozai getting immersed in attacking other nations, so much so that he’s never there for both of his children. Technically speaking, even if Ozai was there physically, he was never emotionally available for his children being a narcissistic father.

I would say that Zuko had the worst childhood experience as compared to Katara because Katara had a brother who always supported his sister in dealing with the trauma, but we don’t see that in the case of Zuko whose own sister used to bully him right from the childhood for being too weak and the mom’s pet.

Now let’s analyze the colonizer part. Unfortunately, Zuko was born to a father who was not just the worst ruler but an equally worse son, brother, husband, and father. One can say that Zuko’s only fault was to hail from a wrong family but other than that, he was never a colonizer. You may ask why. I will give you a reason.

It’s not just Katara who has to bear the ill effects of the war that was imposed on her, but in many ways Zuko was a direct victim of what we call “Emotional Imperialism”. In psychology, it’s a condition where the colonizers not just physically take control of their colonies, but they start infusing their ideals deep into the mentality of their subjects as well.

Coming back to the case of Zuko, we find that he never gets to formulate the normal father-son relationship with Ozai, rather Ozai treats both his children as his humble subjects who need to obey him unquestionably and need to be perfect as his subjects. He’s in every sense not just a narcissistic parent but a controlling one as well who emotionally traps both his children and wants to rule over them at every cost. The apparent manifestation of this emotional imperialism is evident through:

Zuko’s quest to be the best firebender

When the colonizers start ruling over a certain colony, it’s the colonials who feel the need to be validated by their masters. It’s their first survival strategy that they embrace the change as they know resistance is going to be of no use. They simply adapt themselves to the new ideals that are set forth by their ruling masters. Similarly, Ozai always wanted his children to be the absolute embodiment of Azulon’s great bloodline and both his children obliged to his desires because they feared the firelord. Therefore, his stiff standards force both his children to compete against each other from a very young age. This is the worst form of emotional imperialism where the subjects simply want some validation in return and therefore they are ready to even forget their kinship. That’s what we find as Zuko repeatedly wants to “get his honor back and win the trust of his father”. What do you think this honor is? It’s not the quest for being the next heir to the throne, rather it’s being the absolute best in the eyes of the master who controls both the siblings. We know Ozai has a manipulative nature and this relates exactly to the manipulative attitude of a colonizer who puts the colonials against each other.

Zuko’s almost absent friend circle

Have you ever seen the modus operandi of the colonizers? They alienate their subjects so that the subjects find no way of self-expression and eventually give up to the demands of their masters. That’s exactly the scenario that propagates in Zuko’s life. Other than Mai and Ty Lee we don’t even find his friends throughout the series. Isn’t it a bit strange that despite being a prince, he has no guy friend of his age? He has no friends at all. It’s because the master (Ozai) wanted so. The siblings never get much exposure to the outside world. When we draw a comparison of Zuko’s situation, then Katara seems to be at an advantage in that she found a peer group that allowed her to grow further and overcome her insecurities. Zuko, however never got a chance to blend into an actual peer group and that kept him secluded throughout and gave him his introverted persona. Don’t you find it strange that as a friend Zuko got no one but his uncle who had a lot of age differences and the opinions differed too? This created a rift further maybe because Zuko felt that somehow his feelings were not interpreted well by Uncle Iroh. Compared to his “angry guy” persona, he grows a lot more friendly when he finds the gang or should we say people of his age. This allows him to understand his persona in a constructive way and he strives to alter the course of his life afterwards.

Identity crisis

Out of all the characters on ATLA, people often say that Zuko is the one with the most complex attributes because he is not even sure of his “destiny”. Sounds familiar? Eh? Well, this is the typical case of an identity crisis existing in the subjects of a colony. Zuko goes through this phase where he is always striving hard to explore his identity, and his destiny thus fueling his internal rage as well. A kaleidoscopic journey is what he follows. Sometimes it’s rage, sometimes regret and sometimes he even questions the actions of his father. By the end, his driving force to change his alliances is nothing but this very identity crisis. This makes me remember a very interesting observation that whenever he’s near the gang, he’s a bit cranky and at the same time uneasy because he looks at the gang as the polar opposite of himself. To a caged bird who has accepted his fate, even the slightest call of resistance feels like Hades’ call and that’s why he repeatedly aims to avoid Aang’s calls for forming a friendship because he is afraid of peeking into his resisting side. That’s the typical thing you find in Haru who despite being a fine earthbender resists waging a war against the firebenders who roam freely in his village at first. So would you blame Zuko for never resisting the colonization when as a subject it was inherent to his mentality for a long time?

A harsh realisation

People who degrade Zutara with this stupid claim that Katara was the only one who “lost everything” need to get their brains checked thoroughly because when we compare her loss to the magnitude of the loss faced by Zuko at the end of the war, the comparing scale diverts wildly in Zuko’s favor. Though many of you know this; I will recall it for you again. Katara lost her mother to the war but in the end, she got lifelong friends to cherish with her brother as well father. On the contrary, even during the war, we find that Zuko loses not only his mother, his father, and his sister in the worst possible way. It means all his family members are lost to him in every sense when the war ends. Now some of you will come to me with the argument that the gang eventually finds Ursa back but how? With her memories all erased. It means that the war has not just left him with permanent emotional wounds but it has further taken the very idea of a family from his life.

We zutarians never ship Zutara together because we “just find them good together” but it’s deeper than that. It’s because Zuko was the one who understood Katara’s quest for Yon Rha in order to find answers behind her mother’s death in addition to revenge. This is because deep down he was always looking for the answers of his mother’s (who was the only real person known to him) banishment. That’s exactly what we find after Zuko becomes the firelord. The first thing he does is asking Ozai questions and being certain that he’s finally gonna tell everything. We ship them together because Katara was the only person who understood the value of Zuko jumping in front of Azula’s lightning to save her. We ship them together because we believe if it had become a potential canon, maybe both of them could have helped each other in healing with their individual traumas and creating a real family together.

[dekusleftsock]

I JUST HAD THIS REALIZATION IN THE SHOWER WHY HAVE I NEVER. THOUGHT ABOUT KATSUKI LIKE THIS.

So this is going to kind of go into Izuku’s bullying from Katsuki but it’s mainly if not entirely about why Katsuki has always stood out as a person, regardless of quirk or even leadership.

What got me thinking about this was actually those “American meets K-Drama bullies” on tiktok, which I often feel has a hint of xenophobia, but I digress.

One of the main points as to WHY the American in those examples would “win” is because of the cultural differences between fighting back vs shutting up and taking the beating. The main reason most Americans believed they would win is because culturally, a K drama bully would never think that their victim would retaliate, much less try to beat their ass in the first place.

Japan and China have similar cultural standards, especially to bullying (which is why bullying is so so bad statistically in Japan, with a whopping 57% bullying rate), and this “sit down and take the beating” cultural standard often permits bullies to continue to retaliate within the school. (Fun fact I was actually researching divorce in Japan for this due to some misinformation I’d read a while ago, but apparently Japan doesn’t have joint custody?? Like period?? It comes from the idea that a family is a set unit, and that were a parent to want to leave that unit, they are fundamentally no longer apart of it. No marriage, no custody, no child. You simply don’t see your kid very often, or ever. Sometimes this is even a decision on the father’s part, thinking that it’s “too painful to see the child after separation”, and that parents don’t see the benefit in children having both parties in their lives)

So, thinking of this in mind, I first went to why Izuku wouldn’t necessarily speak out or try to fight back. He wants to, he definitely almost does, but ends up standing silently shaking instead. Yes, fighting back may feel good, but even to people who would sympathize with said struggles may still blame the victim in this situation for “causing trouble”, it’s why Izuku and Katsuki’s relationship is even more interesting; it’s not just Izuku gaining confidence as he goes into high school, but that after he was given a space TO fight back (the first hero training), he actually started his arc on “defying society” and “not pushing things under the rug”. Tearing that rug to shreds doesn’t just mean looking out for those who haven’t been looked for, but also for destroying the standards that fighting back is a fault of yourself.

Tbh we also have this in the west as well, even those Americans who like to make those TikTok’s shaming people in countries they have no contextual idea to understand, much less solve. Because it’s not that fighting back itself would be hard, but that the social backlash would cause you to be even more of a target. It’s a lose-lose situation, so yes, a student will choose the wisdom of their parents and their elders that tells them to pretend it isn’t there.

But, besides that, in America (and I honestly wouldn’t doubt that this is in Europe too) the subtlety of that shame IS STILL THERE. I can even account for this in my middle school, for lightly pushing my bullies who ganged up on me, I was the one blamed and threatened punishment. The idea of a fight at all in high school would cause immediate suspension on both parties records, regardless of why or who started it. My brother in middle school was expelled for threatening kids who were both physically and vocally harassing him, and instead of any sort of help from the school, they REFUSED footage that might have defended him and my brother was then ostracized by my neighborhood/school district and thought to be some kid about to shoot up a school, he wasn’t.

Violence isn’t always the answer, obviously, but this is mainly to point out the hypocrisy of putting the west on this pedestal for fighting injustice.

I wanted to put this in somewhere but didn’t know where so it’s going here, but I find this take even funnier given the fact that North America has a 1% higher bullying rate than Asia which is so fucking funny and ironic

BUT BACK TO THE MAIN POINT ON KATSUKI, IM GETTING THERE I PROMISE🙏🙏

I think there’s this perception online of Katsuki that he is considered so unbelievably cool and normal given the context of his middle and elementary school, but putting it into perspective? Fighting your bullies, especially ones a year older than you, is REALLY WEIRD. Like, he’s an odd ball. It actually makes so much more sense as to why Izuku admires Katsuki in the first place. Katsuki has NEVER simply sat down and took the beating IN HIS LIFE.

And when you really think about it? All of that direct language, how rude he talks in Japanese (as in what pronouns he even uses for people, to the point that even the “softer” or “more intimate” pronouns he uses are… also kind of rude), and yk, suddenly, it’s almost like all the people at the beginning of their first year making fun of him… makes sense. And not just in a “lets humble this guy” way, they have no reasons to think of him in any kind of way really, they’re simply reacting to Katsuki and his odd way of speech and forwardness. He IS weird here, not just an asshole.

But EVEN GIVEN the fact that people know and think Katsuki is weird, he still strides along anyway. In fact, the only person who has ever gotten under his skin has been Izuku, who never even implied that he thought any malice of him in the first place.

Even now Katsuki continues to be himself to such a visceral, outward degree. I saw this post recently that was saying Izuku was actually quite mature for his age, but I’d argue that it’s less maturity, and more that he has just abided by a certain cultural standard of being thankful for the opportunities he’s been given.

It’s almost like Horikoshi has used Katsuki as this… idk, societal commentary? He certainly stays a societal commentary here in the west and our standards, often portraying more nuanced ideas of forgiveness and change and humility, but it’s different now that I think about it.

Katsuki isn’t just a character made to be rude for the sake of being funny, he’s an honest to god, walking, talking, culmination of what Japanese culture stands to change. It’s why Katsuki keeping his “hardened” traits is so so SO important. And it’s even more interesting given that he’s popular, he’s powerful, and he’s still bold while he does so.

Katsuki didn’t try to be popular, he just happened to do so. Explaining why he’s so bizarrely different from everyone else suddenly makes everything about his character make sense to me. Like, ofc Izuku would admire him to an almost worshipping degree, ofc he would stay in his life regardless of his flaws, Katsuki is himself in the most unapologetic way possible and THATS what’s truly admirable about him. His quirk, his determination, they’re both beautiful, but he’s the hero in his life because heroes inherently juxtapose the society around them. And that is exactly what Katsuki is.

And Katsuki, for all his flaws, never changed himself for society. He was always, long before he went to UA, before he even had his quirk, before he’d probably even met Izuku—been a hero.

[closed-third-eye]

you have to understand why they make lucerys out to be a bully rather than aemond who is chasing after a child and aegon who is bullying his brother and led him to his sexual assault.

Biggest fight aemond has been in his life, is been against a child, because that is all he will ever win. so how do you make person like that look cool? You cannot point to his training which took place in a controlled environment by a man who in concerned for his safety. Only thing left to do is make lucerys, aemond's victim, out to be the perpetrator of his trauma

Aemond is a nasty bully on his own, he knocks down jace's practise sword unprovoked. Bullying someone smaller and weaker than him.

He calls rhaena a pig, a girl he met that day of her mothers funeral, and provokes her into a fight. He is again a bully to someone smaller and weaker than him

He has all the kids beaten and he has the rock in his hand, if he wants to he can walk away, but he doesn't. so lucerys takes the only stand he can.

And what happens next is his mother fault, she put the idea of taking the eye as a payment in his head, and while she regrets her out burst, he remembers

Next lucerys's laughing, which while it is a complete dick move he is put down for it, called bastard, he is even beaten, he learned his lesson

Then we go to storms end where brave little lucerys goes inside Storm's end even when he knows vhagar is there so it's obvious who else is, he still walks in does his duty and tries to leave.

But he is again insulted by aemond, instead of lashing out like a child as aemond would, lucerys listens to him and defiantly says no, he doesn't hide or walk away, he could have if he wanted to and maybe results would be same, but lucerys always acted in a manner befitting his station and position.

Aemond on the other hand acts like a child, screams and runs after him, after saying"fight would be little challenge"

And then chases after him like a crazed dog and on his crazed dog.

And this is their biggest enemy by the way. This is who scares them and they think abuser of aemond all his life and the next one is who they say is the abused

now how else do you defend a murderer? Than make his victim out to be a perpetrator

I would also like to add how utterly psychotic some of these people and their arguments are, I genuinely worry how they treat people in real life at the anger they spill over fiction.

And also how much does the narrative and even his own face have to show to say he didn't think death is the right prize and that he actually was simply being a bully, his true nature.

I frankly fear these blind followers of these characters and how they speak of them, if you look at that post it's derived from false emotions, as a way to justify their nonsense.

Aemond has issues, from his mother's neglect of him which allowed his brother's abuse to go on and the added damage to his face, and he focused on the biggest one rather than them all

And to understand aemond as a person you have to take the bad with the worse, but I'm not sure any of his fans are intelligent enough to do that, I make this assumption based on things they say.

Not sure what they wanted lucerys to do in storms end, had they gone book route it would have shown aemond didn't jump him but provoked him, lucerys again is more jumpscared. And they believe he wouldn't fight because he supposedly can't win? Who has to win fighting itself is a crime for for an envoy which they both know, I'm assuming the historian aemokd knows. But also aemond generally says one thing and does the other, he's shown to be less intelligent more reactive and stupid. And when you see the type of admiration he gets, like attracts like.

[anti-katsuki-lounge]

It always amazes me that the fact Izuku was bullied seemingly relentlessly by a character that is the manifestation of the toxic society of pro heroes has no narrative consequences whatsoever beyond Bakugou’s own growth.

Why is he, the bully, experiencing a majority of the emotional blowback and not the victim he unjustifiably terrorized for a decade?

It just makes Izuku come across as bland and uninteresting. He has no complicated feelings towards Bakugou whatsoever despite how little sense that makes. The narrative wants to showcase how Izuku doesn’t view himself highly and is self-sacrificial to a fault, but never connects these characteristics to the bullying he experienced for a vast majority of his life. Bakugou pointing out these faults in Izuku without any introspection is honestly laughable. It’s like Horikoshi doesn’t want to acknowledge the fact Izuku was bullied outside of Bakugou’s arc no matter how little that makes sense from a logical perspective. No matter what people say. Izuku’s relationship to Bakugou barely developed or changed over the course of the manga. Bakugou was the one who changed (and that writing is extremely flawed). Izuku remained the same, and his overall character was dragged down as a result. And it’s not like Horikoshi is incapable of writing an evolving dynamic. Izuku’s relationship with Iida, Todoroki, Shigaraki, Aoyama, and even Uraraka evolved as time passed. But with Bakugou it just didn’t, at least not from Izuku’s end. It’s just another way the narrative avoids giving Bakugou barely any consequences for his past and current behavior.

Izuku can be a kind and compassionate character while also having complicated feelings towards Bakugou. They aren’t mutually exclusive. I think Izuku could have acknowledged and appreciated Bakugou’s growth and maturity without forgetting about how he hurt him in the past, and maybe even show that their dynamic was fundamentally changed by the bullying without compromising Izuku’s fundamental qualities. Having Izuku be stuck with Bakugou forever because of the “save to win/win to save” thing just feels sad to me, especially since it’s with a guy that never seemed to challenge his character (narratively speaking) in the slightest. Oh if only Iida remained a major character, him and Izuku easily have one of my favorite dynamics in the show.

I 100% agree on this. A character can be kind and compassionate while also understanding that sometimes there’s no excuse for the way others behave. This is the problem with Izuku and Katsuki’s relationship. Izuku’s always defending Katsuki and is always feeling the effects of his behavior towards him, but Katsuki gets to get off scott free each time. Maybe this would’ve worked if someone would end up showing Izuku that he indeed didn’t deserve the bullying he’s faced, but no one does. It’s just thrown to the side immediately. It only hurts Izuku’s character in the long run.

[saintgeniushero]

I hate my husband. But I am enslaved because I'm an immigrant. The US immigration system requires me to he married for 2 years and live with him before I'm allowed to remove conditions on my conditional green card to "prove" that the marriage was real and not a fraudulent scheme. It was real. I really did love him, but he has become too CRUEL, in part I believe because he knows I'm locked to him and he's taking advantage of it. In part maybe because of his abnormal levels of anxiety and unhappiness. But the US government would never understand the complexity of real life marriage/life. 1 in 10 marriages end in divorce in the first 2 years, but I'm not free to divorce. I worked my ass off to get a student visa, extensions, and then instead of a work visa I married him and did the green card, because I trusted him (and he proposed to me). But he has changed drastically. He was diagnosed with Asperger's as an adult and became abusive towards me, victimizing himself and bullying me regularly. He is completely blind (and a bully, did I mention that already?) to how mean he is. Often times he realizes, but doesn't care and admits so, using the justification that I was worse in the past. So I don't stand up for myself. I don't and I won't. That way nobody will ever say that any of this was my fault. I will let him act however he wants to act and mistreat me. I will let him call me names. But people will see who was in the wrong. I will be happy, and they will all wonder how such a happy marriage ended out of nowhere. Even him might wonder how/why it ended because I'm going to live my life so happily that even he will think I'm happy because of him (as opposed to despite him). Even in hell I would be happy because I cannot let evil win! My happiness will be my greatest vengeance for all the suffering inflicted upon me. You already have my freedom and my silence, but you cannot take my thoughts too. Always know that my heart is open to love, but I'm tired of giving it to you when you are just going to dump diarrhea on my love and say "You deserve it" in the coldest way a human can speak.

[linkspooky]

Yuta vs Yuji

(They are both Good Boys ™ and that’s the Problem ™ )

As this week the boys are still fighting, I thought it would be interesting to take a more in depth look at both of their characters and how they compare and contrast with each other. Yuta and Yuji are both protagonists who have protagonistic motivations. Their central conflict, Itadori’s struggle to find a good death surrounded by people he loves, and Yuta’s struggle to be surrounded by people he loves and protects them, relates to protecting the people they love and the world around them. However, that’s also what drives them into conflict with each other. They both view themselves as “the hero” even in conflicts such as the fight against each other, where there is really no good guy. 

1. I want to live / I want to die

Yuta and Yuji are opposites in their stated motivation. Yuta’s goal is to find a way to live a happy life, surrounded by the people he loves. Yuji’s goal is to find a way to die surrounded by people he’s helped in life. 

Not only are their stated motivations opposites however, on the outside they are both the opposite in several ways. Yuji is someone who is known for his strength whereas Yuta is immediately remarked upon as the type to get bullied.  Yuji is immediately remarked upon for his cheerful disposition, whereas everyone who knows Yuta picks on him at first and notices how gloomy he is. 

Yuji is someone who seems to make friends and connect with people almost immediately, whereas Yuta is someone who it probably took him a long time to start getting along with Maki and Inumaki based on what we see in the prequel. Maki challenges him at first, and Yuta doesn’t understand Inumaki at first. 

Yuta is passive, and Yuji is active. Yuji is known for running after people to save them. Yuta’s actually not as motivated to save random strangers as Yuji is, he’s simply going along with becoming a Jujutsu Sorcerer because that will help his goals, 1) to make new friends and find a reason to live 2) to release Rika.

The difference between them even manifests in the way they became cursed. Yuji actively chose to swallow a curse, because he wanted to help Megumi and needed the power to do so. It was a decision he made. Yuta was the one who cursed Rika yes, but not only was it a jujutsu technique he used unconsciously, he also forgot about it and blamed Rika for cursing him instead.  

Which is also something that reflects in the central flaws of both characters. Yuta is someone with a victim complex. He tends to avoid taking direct responsibility for his actions and blaming it on someone else. He acts passive in almost every situation, and doesn’t accept that it may be his fault. Which is why he misremembered what happened to Rika. Yuta could not accept the idea that he was to blame for cursing Rika, so he blamed Rika in his memories instead for cursing him.

It’s been outlined by Maki before Yuta’s victim complex, but basically he reads as a nice person on the surface by pretending to be innocent when he’s not. Which is why she says his goodness feels fake, and he himself feels gross. Yuta kind of just, represses and ignores the bad parts of his personality, to seem like a hapless victim. Of course Yuta is not good or bad, he’s just a dude. But, Maki even goes further to point out Yuta himself doesn’t even seem to know who he wants to be. 

Yuta’s central character flaw is that he never accepts responsibility for his own actions. He has no self confidence and because of that he has a really tough time standing up as an individual. 

When he can learn to control his power, and stand on his own two feet rather than just avoiding responsibility and acting like a victim with no control over his situation. Yuta begins to change, but I think he also elevates his friends far beyond himself. 

He aspires to be like his friends, but he also feels like they’re already better than him and he’s unworthy. Which is why he’s constantly insecure about the relationship and needs to protect them. Yuta believes himself to be weak, he sees himself as a weak person, and so in every situation he tends to assume he’s the weak one or a weak victim which makes it hard for him to see what he’s responsible in those situation. 

On the other hand Yuji takes almost too much repsonsibility. Rather than trying to depend on others, Yuji is always, running ahead on his own and that’s where he makes his mistakes.

He thought he was strong enough to take down Choso on his own. He wasn’t. He thought he was strong enough mentally to prevent Sukuna from rampaging, he wasn’t. Yuji’s mistakes always come from taking on more responsibility than he can handle, and then letting things fall out of his control. 

Yuta’s irresponsible because he sees himself as a victim and doesn’t understand how strong he is, Yuji’s irresponsible because he constantly overestimates what he himself can handle.

If you take the scene after Yuji dies the first time into account. Sukuna outlines several facts. One, that Yuji is not actually strong enough to suppress him. Two, that he rampaged against Megumi specifically because Yuji got cocky and tried to use his power without using a binding vow and think it through. Three, that Yuji overestimates himself and his capability to keep Sukuna down and because of it, he agrees to a simple terms of “If I defeat you inside my own body you revive me with no conditions” and then just immediately dies. 

All of this of course being foreshadowing for what happens after the Choso fight. Once again, Yuji overestimates himself and how he can win the fight fighting alone. Halfway through Yuji gets overwhelmed and Sukuna surfaces. When Sukuna surfaces he rampages, because Yuji did not even think of the possibility that Sukuna might rampage if he died or lost consciousness, and therefore there was no binding vow in place to stop him. It’s not because Yuji is a bad kid, but because he is a kid, and doesn’t know better. He acts like any fifteen year old would dealing with a 1000 year old spirit that’s much smarter than him. But it’s also a case of Yuji thinking everything comes down to strength and he can beat Sukuna just by being stronger, when Yuji actually solves none of his problems by fighting alone, and all of his major victories come from fighting together with others. 

Yuji and Yuta are even opposites in regards to their curses. Rika loves Yuta and wants to protect him. He loses control of her because he’s too scared to face her, and has no idea how to begin controlling his power, which is once again this flaw that Yuta’s fear is a fear of taking responsibility. Yuji on the other hand his curse Sukuna loathes his guts, and is constantly trying to undermine him. Yuji’s problem is again and again he’s proven to underestimate Sukuna, he’s not afraid enough of Sukuna because Yuji himself considers himself a strong person and overestimates what he can be responsible for. Rika is an ally outside of Yuta, and Sukuna is an enemy within Yuji. 

However, after going to such length to establish them as opposites they have one central similiarity. Both of them are incredibly lonely people. They can’t really make friends or connections normally. 

Yuta has this fear of living alone, and Yuji this fear of dying alone. 

They both only form relationships on the basis that they’re needed. Which is why Yuta goes so insane about protecting his friends. Which is why Yuji keeps focusing on death above all else, because that’s their true “purpose” that underlies their stated motivations. They’re both doing this because they are afraid of being alone.

However, they both need to prove that they are “worthy” of love. In order to do that, they need to be good, useful people. Thus they are heroes, thus they are good guys, thus they are protagonists. 

Yuji becomes so insanely motivated to fight after Sukuna’s rampage, because if he doesn’t help someone, if he doesn’t justify his decision to keep on living somehow they’re just a murderer. Both Yuta and Yuji don’t really care about the world or circumstances around them, they just want to be validated by the people around them.

Yuta is a deeply selfish person, because he just wants other people around him to tell him it’s okay to live. However, he’s also just a suicidal fifteen year old kid in the first place, any kid his age would feel that way, would need that support and he shouldn’t need to earn it. That’s what he misunderstands. However, Yuji and Yuta keep trying to seek external validation. They keep trying to earn love rather than having it given to them.

It’s what Yuta completely fails to internalize after his fight with Geto. The lesson he needed to learn was that there was more to the world around him than just protecting the people he loved, but it seems coming back to both of those people he loved being hurt has caused him to double down on “protecting the ones he loved” vs “thinking about what is justice”.Yuta’s still stuck in this mode where he has to earn love, and that becomes his first priority in everything.

The problem with making the decision to ignore justice is that you can end up at the wrong side of the equation. Yuji is Yuta. He’s another victim who allowed a curse to rampage because he was cursed as a teenager and could not control his own power and people ended up dying for it. 

However, because Yuta only understands that his friends have been hurt, and refuses to understand Yuji as both a victim and a person outside of himself he accepts his role of executioner.

Yuta was the person who was going to be executed a year ago. The only reason he didn’t was because Gojo gave him a chance and extended a helping hand. However we’re now seeing Yuta take the opposite path. he’s made the decision to become executioner, to not save when he himself was saved. Which is just sad because Yuta and Yuji are character foils.

 A conflict against Yuji, the other main character, is really just Yuta fighting himself. Yuta cannot forgive himself for the crime of being weak, and therefore he blames Yuji for being like he was a year ago. Yuta still doesn’t know how to stand strong on his own, to accept that his friends love him for who he is, so he’s still trying to earn love by avenging them and acting overprotective against Yuji, when we know Inumaki was friends with Yuji and probably would not want him to be hunted down and killed. 

Yuta and Yuji are both seemingly completely selfless people who can come off as rather self centered when you examine their deeper motivations (they do what they do, because they want to be loved and needed) but it doesn’t come from a place of ego, it’s just that they’re lonely. They can’t feel accepted for who they are so they both try to be heroes instead. 

[miraculouswolf99]

Akumatized: Valid Or Not

This is basically a list of every akumatized that has appeared so far. There will be four types of categories that they will be put into that say whether or not their reason for being akumatized was valid or not.

Categories:

1. Valid- The reason they were akumatized is completely understandable and could happen to anyone.

2. Semi-Valid- It is still understandable, but for things that are relatively normal. Like losing a contest, being rejected by a crush, or failing a test.

3. You Brought This On Yourself- Akumatized over something that was basically their fault to begin with and is not valid at all.

4. What The Hell- An akumaization that makes no sense at all and most likely not really much of a reason to be akumatized in the first place.

Season One:

Nino Lahiffe- Bubbler: Valid. Gabriel is a jerk that would not let his son's best friend throw him a birthday party.

Xavier Ramier- Mr. Pigeon: Semi-Valid. Was just trying to feed the pigeons, but had been aware that there was a rule/law against it.

Aurore Beauréal- Stormy Weather: Semi-Valid. Lost a contest, but almost had it rubbed in her face when she was told that she lost by a lot.

Alix Kubdel- Timebreaker: Valid. Had her family heirloom destroyed not even an hour after she got it because other people did not put a pocket watch in their pocket when she asked them to hold it during her race.

Théo Barbot- Copycat: Semi-Valid. Believed that the girl he had a crush on was dating someone else, but was treating the situation more that she was an object that he could take if he wanted to.

Jalil Kubdel- Pharaoh: Valid. While it is never a good idea to try and resurrect the dead, his father rejected his theory about the spell even when they were in a city of magical heroes and villains.

Alya Césaire- Lady Wifi: Semi-Valid. Was wrongly suspended because Chloe was being a brat. She may have been taking pictures of Chloe's locker, but the door was open and Chloe had accused her of breaking into it.

Nathaniel Kurtzberg- The Evillustrator: Valid. Was embarrassed by having his crush revealed by a bully and humiliated when the drawings of his crush were revealed to everyone.

Roger Raincomprix- Rogercop: Semi-Valid. Was wrongfully fired for not arresting a girl that the mayor's daughter accused of theft even without proof, but had not done any sort of investigation at all about the missing bracelet.

Lê Chiến Kim- Dark Cupid: Valid. May have been rejected by his crush but had his heart broken on Valentine's day and humiliated by the girl he had a crush on.

Mylène Haprèle- Horrificator: Semi-Valid. We all get scared and she was trying to be brave for the film, but she was also the one that purposely signed up to be the lead in a horror movie.

Armand D'Argencourt- Darkblade: Semi-Valid. Lost the mayoral election, but was also running because he thought that he should reclaim his family's lost seat of power from back in medieval times. It's been hundreds of years, man. Get over it.

Fred Haprèle- Mime: Valid. Was wrongfully fired from his job because a co-worker had sabotaged him to gain the lost job for himself.

Jean Duparc- Magician of Misfortune: What The Hell. We were never even given a reason for why he was akumatized in the first place.

Rose Lavillant- Princess Fragrance: Valid. Simply wanted to give a letter to a prince to thank him for all the charity work he does, but the letter was destroyed by a bully.

Ivan Bruel- Stoneheart: Valid. Believed that his crush rejected him while also being bullied/teased over the crush in the first place. Was also bullied over being akumatized in the first place and called a monster.

Otis Césaire- Animan: What The Hell. So, he was akumatized because a teenage boy thought that he could out-run a panther. Even for a zookeeper, is that really something to be upset about?

Simón Grimault- Simon Says: Valid. May have lost a contest, but was basically cheated out of a win because Gabriel did not even really seem like he was going to participate in the first place and he was not even given the chance to try his act.

Vincent Aza- Pixelator: You Brought This On Yourself. A creepy stalker that wants a picture of his favorite rock star and will try anything to get it. "Yicks" is all I have to say.

Jagged Stone- Guitar Villain: Valid. Was told that he had to change his look and music to the complete opposite of his own just because his manager liked a teenage pop star more than him.

Wang Cheng- Kung Food: Valid. He lost a contest, but that was only because Chloe was a brat that sabotaged him.

Max Kanté- Gamer: Semi-Valid. He lost a chance to be in a video game contest but was more upset over losing his chance because he lost to a girl.

Juleka Couffaine- Reflekta: Valid. She was trying to break her "photo curse" but lost her chance because Chloe had her locked in the bathroom so she could stand next to her crush/obsession.

Manon Chamack- Puppeteer: Valid. She is a little girl that was simply trying to win a game and did not really see why having a doll that was given to her was wrong.

Sabrina Raincomprix- Vanisher: Valid. Had a fight with her best friend and then said best friend also pretended that she was invisible because she was a brat.

Chloé Bourgeois- Antibug: You Brought This On Yourself. She was a brat that was called out for lying about being the reason for an akumaization by the hero that she admired.

Lila Rossi- Volpina: You Brought This On Yourself. She was called out for lying about being best friends with a superhero and trying to claim that she was also a hero with a fake miraculous. Karma will always come back to bite you, Liar Rossi.

Season 2:

Santa Claus- Santa Claws: Valid. Was trying to be a good samaritan, but was instead accused of kidnapping by a superhero.

Gabriel Agreste- Collector: You Brought This On Yourself. Gabriel is Hawkmoth and he akumatized himself. Need I say more.

Nadja Chamack- Prime Queen: You Brought This On Yourself. Her job may have been on the line, but she was willing to leave out information and use a picture taken out of context as her "proof" that the heroes were a couple.

Jean- Despair Bear: You Brought This On Yourself. Was trying to use humiliation to try and make a spoiled brat change her ways and was doing it in front of her class.

Kagami Tsurugi- Riposte: Valid. Thought that a single loss against a formidable opponent meant that she had lost her honor because of an over strict mother.

Gina Dupain- Befana: Semi-Valid. Had a hard time realizing that her grandaughter was growing up, but all grandparents feel that way.

Markov- Robostus: Valid. Even as a robot, he still had feelings, but was told he was just a toy and locked away like an object.

Mr. Damocles- Dark Owl: You Brought This On Yourself. If you are a high school principal with no reason or skill to become a hero, don't try and be one while exhausting the real heroes in the process because they keep having to save you.

August- Gigantitan: Valid. He's a literal baby.

André- Glaciator: Semi-Valid. Was told that the special "soulmate" ice cream that he believed in was not magical, but it was still only one girl that did not want that ice cream.

Ella and Etta Césaire- Sapotis: You Brought This On Yourself. They may be young girls, but they had repeatedly been told to go to bed and were rightfully punished for their bad behavior.

Adrien's bodyguard/The Gorilla- Gorizilla: Valid. He was just trying to do his job and was having an extra stressful day with his charge running off and disappearing with almost half of Paris looking for him.

Anarka Couffaine- Captain Hardrock: Valid. Roger was a jerk to her, telling her that her loud music could not be played during the festival instead of simply telling her to turn it down a little.

Clara Nightingale- Frightningale: Valid. Was told that she could not perform or shoot her music video in France anymore because Chloe was being a brat over not being the star in the music video.

Ondine- Syren: Semi-Valid. She believed that she was rejected by her crush, but there had actually not been any real rejected on Kim's part.

Caline Bustier- Zombizou: Semi-Valid. While she took the akuma to protect her student, the akuma was only there because she made her student believe that she was in trouble for being a victim of bullying

Philippe- Frozer: Valid. He is close to losing his business because of the lack of customers.

Audrey Bourgeois- Style Queen: You Brought This On Yourself. She is a grown woman throwing a temper tantrum because she had to sit in the second row of a fashion show.

Penny Rolling- Troublemaker: Valid. Give the woman a bloody break. She deserves it for putting up with you crazy people and a freaking crocodile every day.

Queen Bee/Chloe Bourgeois-Queen Wasp: You Brought This On Yourself. While she had been trying to impress the mother she thought would never love her, she still stole a miraculous, almost caused a train to crash, and used her powers selfishly.

Marc Anciel-Reverser: Valid. He had his notebook destroyed and confidence ruined after trying to put himself out there for the first time because of a big misunderstanding between himself, Nathaniel, and Marinette.

Nora Césaire- Anansi: Semi-Valid. She was trying to protect her sister, but was being super overprotective and did not have faith in actual superheroes.

André Bourgeois- Malediktator: Valid. He was trying to keep his family happy and together but was faced against a brat of a daughter and a controlling wife where neither respected him.

Boy- Sandboy: Semi-Valid. He was a little boy that had a frightening nightmare, but nightmares are pretty common and normal in life.

Lila Rossi- Volpina: You Brought This On Yourself. She wanted to be akumatized and gladly welcomed the chance to be a villain again.

Nathalie Sancoeur- Catalyst: You Brough This On Yourself. She was willingly akumatized. Nothing more needs to be said.

Rena Rouge/Alya Cesair- Rena Rage: Valid. Took a negative emotions arrow for her boyfriend and had all her love put in reverse and turned into rage.

Carapace/Nino Lahiffe- Shell Shock: Valid. Just saw his superhero girlfriend be akumatized and was both losing hope and was hit by a negative emotions arrow.

Heroes' Day Villains: Valid. They all believed that one of their town heroes had been killed by the akumatized form of their other main hero. They had lost hope.

Season 3:

Lila Rossi- Chameleon: You Brought This On Yourself. She literally grabbed the akuma out of the air purposely got akumatized to try and ruin Adrien's friendships and get another shot at defeating Ladybug.

Thomas Astruc- Animaestro: What The Hell. So, he was akumatized because no one recognized him as a director of an animation movie. I did not really understand it. He was a director of an animation movie. Why would anyone recognize him if they had not seen the movie credits and know who the director was in the first place?

Rolland Dupain- Bakerix: What The Hell. I'm still confused over him. Was he akumatized because Marinette lied about who she was or was it because he was upset over modern baking techniques outshining his own? I did not get it.

Marianne Lenoir- Backwarder: Valid. She had been waiting a long time for the person that she loved, only to believe that he no longer cared for her.

Max Kanté- Gamer 2.0: Semi-Valid. He could not find a person to test out the game that he had made and was told no by a lot of people. A person can only take rejection for so long.

Tom Dupain- Weredad: Valid. He wanted to protect his daughter from heartbreak and was a victim of a lie gone way out of hand.

Luka Couffaine- Silencer: Valid. The song, look, and music that he and his friends created was stolen and his friend had been threatened when they tried to get their music back.

Kagami Tsurugi- Oni-Сhan: Valid. She might have been jealous, but that was only because Liar Rossi lied her way into her friend's home, kissed him without his permission, and claimed that the two were a couple even when he was obviously uncomfortable with her kissing him.

Sabrina Raincomprix- Miraculer: Semi-Valid. She was yelled at by her friend even though she was simply trying to help her after she fought off being akumatized.

Alya Césaire & Nino Lahiffe- Oblivio: What The Hell. They were akumatized over being caught playing a silly video game. That is a very stupid reason.

Wayhem- Party Crasher: Valid. He thought that his friend lied to him about not being able to have friends over and was then rejected at the door of his friend's house when he thought that there was a party there he could attend.

Chris Lahiffe- Christmaster: Semi-Valid. He was upset over not being able to get his presents early, but what kid wouldn't be upset over that.

Manon Chamack- Puppeteer: Semi-Valid. Wanted to play with the big kids and felt ignored by them all day. But that is pretty common for little kids to feel, especially when older siblings and their friends are involved.

Aurore Beauréal- Stormy Weather: Valid. Not only were her grades slipping, but she was also ridiculed by a bully, bullied by her saying 'once a villain always a villain.'

Ms. Mendeleiev- Kwamibuster: Semi-Valid. She was humiliated on live television when trying to prove herself as a great scientist, but she had not even bothered to look at the footage she had before going on the show.

Dormant Sentimonster- Feast: What The Hell. An akumatized sentimonster. I have officially seen it all now.

Juleka Couffaine- Reflekta/Reflectdoll: Valid. She was trying to start her dream of being a model but was basically chased out because Alya was pushing her matchmaking over her friend's dream.

Tomoe Tsurugi- Ikari Gozen: Semi-Valid. Her daughter had disobeyed her to play a game that she did not think was worth the time, but she was still an overly strict mother that was trying to control her daughter's every move.

Vivica- Desperada: Valid. She was fired for a completely ridiculous reason and her boss was quick to try and find a replacement for her.

Claudie Kanté- Startrain: Valid. She was a nervous wreck over if she was close to achieving her dream of being an astronaut while also being a worried mother about having to leave her son if she did get accepted into training.

Xavier Ramier- Mr. Pigeon: You Brought This On Yourself/What The Hell. This guy had been akumatized about 24 times. Enough said.

Future Chris Lahiffe- Timetagger: What The Hell. We are never even given a reason why he was akumatized in the first place.

Cat Noir- Cat Blanc: Valid. He had just found out that his father is the supervillain that has been terrorizing Paris for years and that the mother that disappeared has been under his house the entire time in a coma.

Alya Césaire/Rose Lavillant/Juleka Couffaine- Lady Wifi/Princess Fragrance/Reflekta: Valid. They believed that their friend had sent a horrible message to them in return for their heartfelt messages about them supporting him in his time of pain.

Nathalie Sancoeur- Catalyst: You Brought This On Yourself. She was willingly akumatized again, nothing more and nothing less.

André & Audrey Bourgeois- Heart Hunter: Semi-Valid. They had been fighting and not as in-love as they probably had been once upon a time, but they had never thought about a marriage counselor before.

Queen Bee/Chloe Bourgeois- Miracle Queen: You Brought This On Yourself. Even after being told that she will not get the bee miraculous back, she still tries getting it from Ladybug multiple times. And then she willingly works with Hawkmoth.

[etherealluminescence]

Hi there! I was hoping you could do a headcanon of the demon brothers with an Mc/reader that self harms pls? You don’t have to though!

I have 7/8 fic requests so I’ll do the headcanons first!! ((: and I don’t mind! This is going to be a little bit angsty! And I hope you’re doing okay!! I’ve never personally cut / done great self-harm so I based it off stories I’ve heard, or common knowledge. Sorry if it doesn’t sound completely okay!

I tried a bunch of ways to describe an MC who does self harm?? Does that make sense? Like for depression, for the thrill, for boredom? I’ve had friends and know many people who have self-harmed, and done it for myriads of reasons, and I sort of wanted to include all types?? I hope that doesn’t sound rude or mean-

One more HC and then it’s fic time. I’m excited to write Solomon smut.

Brothers react to GN!MC doing self-harm

Lucifer

He didn’t pay much attention to you at first, considering how busy he was. He thought of you as a bit of a nuisance, and began to pick-up on what was really going on after talking to you for a bit.

You used a lot of self-deprecating humour, which at first he was caught off guard with, and eventually realised you were genuinely serious.

You saw yourself as some pathetic and worthless creature, and the fact that those around you call you that too only added fuel to the fire. A worthless human, something weak and pathetic. You never denied it, and always agreed.

He soon found out you cut yourself, bloodlet, and do all sorts of harm to your body in order to relieve yourself and use it as a coping mechanism.

He began to worry about you, not just for the sake of the student exchange program. There were plenty of demons in the Devildom, and you were an easy victim.

You never fought back when someone picked on you, you never denied it when someone degraded your existence, and you didn’t even bother if your harming was obvious or not, so long as you calmed yourself.

He finally confronted you when you took it too far one day, sitting in your bathtub, soaked in blood. You were running late to dinner, and Lucifer’s bad feeling made him come find you. It felt good to you, great. It was addictive. The one thing you could control- the amount of agony you endured. You were so bored of life, that this is the only thrill you got.

He began screaming at you, and immediately picked you up and began to wrap bandages around your arm, and kept yelling that you shouldn’t do this, and you are taking it too far.

You were about to brush him off when he yelled out that if you’re trying to die, this isn’t funny.

It made you pause. Was he, concerned? About someone like you? But, why? Why did you a small human in this vast world matter to him?

He could tell what you were thinking and sighed. He couldn’t believe how you were raised, to think of yourself as insignificant. Even though he was known as the prideful demon of sin, he admitted to you that he does care about you, and doesn’t want to see you dead.

It pained him to see you struggle to understand him or accept that he was genuinely concerned for you. Anymore time that you were bullied, he’d scare off the demons, or anytime you talked shit about yourself, he would tell you to stop.

Mammon

The first time you met Mammon, he degraded you. He told you that you were stupid. A human couldn’t survive. Don’t talk to him or rely on him.

And that’s exactly what you did- you never bothered him. You believed every word that he had said to you. You didn’t want to be a bother, so every time you passed a demon who intimidated you, you kept your mouth shut and endured it.

You couldn’t win against one, anyways. Even if you could, what would that do? You’d just cause problems. You always caused problems wherever you go, so why don’t you be good for once?

In the comfort of your own room, you cut. You choked. You took a needle and dragged it across your arm, and poke, poke, poke. Droplets of red stained your arm and the carpet, with your tears falling down mixing in.

You hissed and whimpered to yourself, trying not to bother anyone around you with your loud whining.

It was then that Mammon entered your room, and saw what was happening. He was going to steal something, but stopped. What the fuck did you think you were doing?

He grabbed the needle from you and threw it aside and practically yelled at you. You were frozen and scared, shivering and clutching your body curling to brace yourself for the hit.

The hit never came, and he slowly eased you open again. He never knew humans were so high maintenance. He may not know you, but he’s not actually going to let you die.

You explained to him that you felt worthless, and he told you to just leave him alone. Die while you’re at it. He felt extremely bad.

He didn’t think you’d actually hurt yourself, or that you’d not go to him for help. He’s the great Mammon! If you begged, he would of let you seen a good side of him.

From that moment he apologises, sort of, in his own little way.

And he starts to protect you and comes over and clings to you, claiming this is how his human will stop their self-doubt and love themself

Leviathan

He could tell pretty early on. He saw your anxiety and the way you would curl away from people, listening to music, and how you would clench your fists when someone would talk to you.

You had severe anxiety from what he could tell, but didn’t exactly notice the self harm scars you had. He did not want to get involved, but could not just leave you like that when he knew.

He gave you some anxiety medication, which caused you to panic due to thinking you’d be yelled at again, and by a stranger no less. You started to yell sorrys and it’s my fault, and began to violently shake.

He’s seen enough anime with shitty parents to understand that you were more than likely afraid of people.

He allows you to play his games, and see his fish, but you were so scared to move, but when you came to it you were too scared to say no.

After a few minutes, he could see that you were scratching yourself to the point of bleeding, and that you were not doing okay. When he was about to say something, you got startled and fell on your face. Your shirt slightly riled up revealing bruises on your stomach.

It was a lot worse than he originally realised, and even signed up for. He just wanted to give you anxiety medication. But if he went that far, may aswell go another mile, right?

He ends up coaxing you overtime to come to his room, and slowly stops you from curling around him, or begging him for forgiveness.

He has to keep the majority of his brothers away, which is no problem, since he’s an otaku.

You finally ease up to him overtime, and feel a bit more comfortable, enough to speak in full sentences around him. He finds it as a sort of progress, and each time you end up bleeding or hurting yourself, he applies medicine and helps you calm your nerves.

He swears to summon Lotan on your parents, though.

Satan

He could easily tell something was up with you. Just not to that extent. You wore oversized clothes, never held out your handing, constantly pulling on your sleeves, and didn’t look people in the eye.

He was slightly concerned though after an incident in class. The teacher called on you and you barely whispered out the answer, and even got it wrong. You were crying and sniffling to yourself, and as he was seated behind you he could hear it.

He figured out pretty easily that you were afraid of public speaking, and couldn’t handle interaction really well. He decided to read up on a few human books, because he actually pitied you. You looked like you desperately wanted to speak, but at the same time just couldn’t.

He was finally going to approach you when he saw you behind the house, playing with a cat. You had your sleeves pulled up, and there were many cut marks covering your arm.

When the cat scratched you, you jolted back a bit and proceeded to bite your fingernails, muttering to yourself. Walking closer, he could hear you insulting yourself and saying how even an animal couldn’t like a creature like you.

He watched as you ripped the fingernail out with your teeth, and proceeded to scratch at your neck. He was shocked for a moment before pulling your hand from your neck.

This was much more serious than he initially thought. Here you were muttering nonsense to yourself, and harming yourself, he gets that you have anxiety, but why are you going to this extent to cope?

You freaked out when he grabbed you and thrashed about and started to breathe heavily. He tried to slowly calm you, and tried to show he wasn’t an enemy by telling you to wait there while he gets some bandages.

It takes a long time for you to get used to him, probably months, but he sticks by with you trying to make sure your anxiety doesn’t spike, or that you at least stop cutting yourself.

Asmodeous

He screeched when he saw you.

You were littered in scars. Bandages everywhere. Blood coming down from your thigh. You even had an eyepatch. You were grinning with a knife in hand and walked across the living room, and casually sat down.

You ignored his remarks on you, and began to watch your bodily fluids seep. Asmo was unsure how to react. Did you, do that, to yourself? But how would a small human like you be able to do that to yourself and why would you?

He was scared of you at first, from how easily you swung the knife and other forks or needles, but finally convinced you to come to his room. You figured he would bring you some sort of pain or humiliate you since he’s so beautiful, so you came.

You were wrong.

He forces you to discard your weapons and treats you nicely. It baffles you, as he puts lotion, and medicine on your wounds.

You hissed from initial contact and try to run, but he’s pining you down and forcing you to take care of yourself.

He doesn’t know how you did it, or why, but he is going to fix you. Your body had so many knife marks that it didn’t even look human! How could you do that.

He was angry and determined to fix you, and got to work for three hours despite your struggle. When he was finally done, he gasped. Now that he’s managed to comb your ragged hair, change your clothes, and rub your wounds, you actually look really good.

You were annoyed, you wanted to rip it all off. This wasnt exhilirating, only humiliation was.

He yelled at you when you touched your hair, and began to treat you everyday despite your endless attempts of running away.

He confiscated all your sharp objects, even the knife you hid in a teddy bear, and began to slowly work on making you feel better.

Although you were begrudgingly doing it, it felt nice. To gain the attention of someone around you for once, and not because you were covered in blood.

Beelzebub

You and Beel got along pretty well, but you had a dirty secret. You would cut yourself as a coping mechanism, each time you were stressed or felt worthless.

One day however, you took it too far. You cut much more deeper on accident, being startled when you heard a loud thud downstairs, and slit.

You were freaking out, you had never cut so deep, and there was so much blood. You tried applying paper towels upon paper towels, holding it to a towel, washing it, but there was no end.

You started crying and panicking, because you didn’t actually want to die. You just wanted to cut a bit, not actually die from it.

You could only think of turning to someone for help, but you had no clue who other than Beel. You never wanted to show him or tell him that you cut yourself, but you were so worried about being found dead in your bathroom that you ran to him as fast as you could.

You ran to his room, albeit it was actually like a speed walk as you were trying to hold your arm. You banged loudly and when Beel opened the door, he saw you crying and clutching your hand covered in blood.

He immediately got protective and thought someone had done this to you, but first had to calm you down. He brought you in and disinfected the wound, and started to put a gauze on your wrist. He then wrapped some bandages around semi-tightly, and got you some snacks.

He was about to ask you what happened, but you confessed it to him out of fear. You told him about how you cut- and how you took it too far. You didn’t intend to cut so deep, and you were so so scared.

You were slightly hysterical and he had to calm you. He took it in slightly concerned, but didn’t think it was right to yell at you. You seemed to deeply regret it and seemed to be so scared yourself.

He proceeded to take all your knives and weapons, and spent even more time with you. He would never let you cut around him, and if you did, he would immediately cuddle you and refuse to allow you to harm yourself again.

He felt really sad he didn’t notice sooner, but was slightly happy you came to him first and are slowly recovering with his help.

Belphegor

The first time you died you didn’t even attempt to dodge him, you just accepted your fate. Too bad you weren’t actually dead, you thought.

After the whole ordeal, Belphie apologises to you and you were just so nonchalant saying you didn’t mind, and you already have a bunch of wounds so one more wouldn’t hurt.

He sees you lifting your shirt up to show him your cut marks, and he’s just like ??? Is there something wrong with you. He feels bad for trying to kill you now.

You weren’t supposed to accept death, right? Humans are beyond strange. He knows he doesn’t have the right to tell you not to hurt yourself when he literally just tried to kill you, but he wasn’t going to just let you die. Again.

He’s very awkward approaching it. On one hand he doesn’t know you, and on the other he doesn’t want you to hurt yourself. And why aren’t any of his brothers saying anything?

His brothers are casual about it too at this point, because they can’t stop you. Even when they try, you still go back to your old habits. Slightly pisses him off.

He pulls you into his arms when he goes to sleep, and makes sure you don’t have access to your weapons. He holds you just tight enough so you can’t escape him to do who knows what.

You progressively start to lose interest in harming yourself. You only did it for the feeling, and out of habit, but Belphie is constantly sleeping and dragging you into bed with him, so you’re unable to do it.

He will never directly admit that he wanted to stop you from cutting, though. Still upset at himself for trying to kill you.

[queer-and-dear-books]

Title: The (Un)Popular Vote

Author: Jasper Sanchez

Genre: YA Fiction | Friendship | Political | Drama | LGBTQ+

Content Warnings: Transphobia | Homophobia | Deadnaming | Bullying

Overall Rating: 9.2/10

Personal Opinion: In this microcosm of today’s society, we witness the political landscape of high school. Except, instead of a popularity contest, there are real stakes involved. Mark is trans and going stealth, he has been going under the radar ever since transitioning. However, after a homophobic bullying incident not only goes unpunished but the victim got suspended, Mark decides to run for president so he can change the school. With his wonderful found family and a whole diverse student body behind him, will Mark be able to win against his opponents? Read it to find out and see because I guarantee the results won’t disappoint.

Do I Own This Book? Nope.

Spoilers Below For My Likes & Dislikes:

Likes:

- First of all, praise to all of the diversity in this group of friends here. Mark is pansexual and trans. His love interest, Ralph, is Jewish and has severe anxiety. Ralph’s twin sister is dating a demigirl, Nadia, who happens to be Muslim. The best friends are Jenny Chu (Chinese and aro) and Pablo Navarro (Hispanic and ace). Their underclassman Benji is a high-femme gay who lives with unabashed pride in himself that he may be the coolest guy ever. We have Christian and Luis who are freshmen gays with a robot baby. Beatriz, the Latina captain of the girl’s champion soccer team. Vinh is an Asian American influencer and Kai is an indigenous dude on the wrestling team. There’s even a Korean teacher, ZP (short for Zielinski-Pak). There is such a variety of different voices and faces that it just felt so refreshing to read.

- Second of all, the intelligence of these characters is beyond incredible. Even with people like Henry McIver and Clary Cassandra. They discuss all sorts of talking points such as philosophy, theology, politics, and more. And the debates are so well thought out that even the nonsensical cringey ones rooted in white supremacy feels just so authentically real. It’s crazy that all of these characters just know so much and it’s clear that their school is for nerds but since the main characters are on the IB track, they’re like the cream of the crop.

- Mark is a good person. He struggles a lot with that view of himself as Ralph claims. And likewise, Ralph struggles to see himself as good too. But that’s probably why they have such good chemistry together. They can see past the faults and the ways they try to hide, digging deeper and holding each other’s hands through all the tough parts. They’re cute together and I love that.

- Going back to Mark, he cares so much about other people. And he believes that the world can be better if they just work toward that. So it pissed me off when his dad and Henry just claimed it was for his vanity. They made their assumptions about him because their own worldview is twisted into the mindset that people are always selfish. So I get why they acted the way they did in that sense when they called out Mark on his so-called hypocrisy. But it is just wild that they couldn’t even begin to recognize that the people they were describing were themselves, not Mark. At the end of the day, even if he chose to ran for less than selfless reasons, he is still the best presidential candidate of the three choices. Because he’s aware of his shortcomings and wants to do what’s best for others in the end. Even if he is a privileged rich white kid. He understands that everyone, no matter the differences, deserve to be treated with respect.

- Nadia is such a cool person. She kept assuring Mark that the numbers were there when the votes were coming in. She really did have her finger on the pulse of their school. She knew everyone. And she also did great convincing Mark to participate with the stoners to get their vote. His speech to them was truly something else.

- Amber Carr is an enigma for me but I respect the fuck out of her. She’s so passionate about journalism. She also doesn’t out people for a juicy headline. What she did to Jenny was so awful though and I’m glad that Mark questioned her ethics on that but I respect her because she truly does want what’s best for the school in the end and she clearly respects Mark a lot. When he was about to come out to her and she shut off the camera, my heart went out to her. I think she’s also black? Not sure but if she is, it is another check in the diverse column for this book.

- The speech Mark gave was honestly inspiring. I would’ve definitely voted for him had I heard it. About how no one should vote for him unless they believe in him, truly. I wish we got to see Henry’s smug face fall when the gym applauded for him. 

- Pablo is so cool too. He’s so chill and knows how to stay in his lane and also knows how to be present for his friends when they need him. And his parents are cool too. The way they’re okay with the kids drinking as long as they stay under their roof. That’s how you raise a kid properly. I see where Pablo gets it from. I hope he finds the perfect partner for him in the future, the Swiftie sap.

- Love and respect Mark’s mom though. She really was a queen in this. Supporting and choosing her son without hesitation. And encouraging him to run. Staying in touch with the father because she knew that’s what Mark had wanted at the time. And saying Mark reminds her of the man his father once was, the kindhearted and down-to-earth politician that he used to be. 

- Anyway, Mark Adams for prez of the United States of America: 2048.

Dislikes:

- Henry McIver is an enigma to me. He’s clearly not phobic in any sense of the word. He didn’t participate in verbally assaulting Benji like his teammates did. And he apologized to Mark once he found out that Mark was not, in fact, a cisgendered man. But his rhetoric is so similar to white supremacists that it makes me cringe. And he was still a bystander when Trevor and Kevin were bullying Benji. But his fanbase worships him, how can he not stop them? Is he that afraid of ruining his own popularity? I get that he’s dirt poor and doesn't have the “privilege” to be himself but I don’t get it. I don’t get why he “has to” do some of the things he does to survive in this school. If he’s queer in some aspect and Benji knows because they went out or hooked up or something, then maybe that’s it? He’s scared of the guys on his team turning on him? And maybe his parent(s) are super homophobic. Who the fuck knows. But I wish we had more perspective on him since I do not get him.

- Fuck Kevin Guo. I know Trevor is the one who punched Benji and fuck him too, but it bothers me that one of the biggest bigots in the school is an Asian dude. And the fact that h shares my name bugs me so much. How dare he! This complaint is personal and has no bearing on the overall rating of this book. I just gotta voice it.

- I mentioned that I don’t get why Amber slut-shamed Jenny like that. Is it just a commentary on the inherent sexism? How Jenny got villified while Dante Gomez, the guy she slept with and also a political candidate, continued running unaffected? If that’s it, I do think it needs to be a bit more heavyhanded in its execution.

- Jenny being all moody and mad toward Mark for like a whole week bugs me a lot too. I mean, I get it on some level and I’m glad she still cares so much for him when he wanted to quit. But girl, you need to do some actual communicating. Life is not like a television show. You told him to remove you from the ticket so he wouldn’t lose and he did! She should have been proud of him for winning, not sulking in her corner.

- I also think Ralph’s reaction to Mark revealing his father’s still alive was way overblown. Mark was clearly in distress so obviously his dad is not a good person even though Mark said he used to look up to him. Like, it should’ve been much more obvious that Mark’s whole relationship with his dad sucked but Ralph didn’t listen. I’m glad he acknowledged it though and also apologized. Plus, given his own relationship with his deceased father, I do think his reaction was somewhat justified. He’s human.

- Fuck Mark’s dad. I’m glad we know the author is transmasc but holy shit, every time Mark’s dad uttered that deadname, I actually physically cringed. It was just so bad. And overall he’s just such an entitled asshole who doesn’t get that Mark’s life doesn't revolve around him. If he had accepted his son for who he is in the first place, his campaign for governor would’ve been fine. I know it. I don’t care what he thinks. The fact that he said Mark was just playacting his gender is just so gross too. I’m glad Mark gave him a real verbal dressing down at his hotel. He deserved it. Fuck that guy to high heaven.

[rosethornewrites]

Fic: Breaking Point

Relationships: Caline Bustier & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug

Characters: Caline Bustier, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Alya Césaire, Max Kanté, Nathaniel Kurtzberg, Juleka Couffaine, Lila Rossi, Tikki

Tags: caline bustier salt, Reveal, Badass Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste Knows, Protective Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Caline Bustier Knows, ml salt, Harassment, Lila Rossi Lies, Bad Classroom Environments, Gaslighting, enablers, Bullying ,Salt, Identity Reveal, Spitefic, Swearing, Adrien Sugar

Summary: '“For instance, being a superhero is not a viable career path,” was what made her tune in, her attention fully pulled to Mme. Bustier, who seemed to be looking right at her.' 

Note: This was written based on a prompt by @norakwami.

AO3 link

------

Marinette wasn’t really paying attention to Mme. Bustier’s lecture. To be fair, it was about career options and how to achieve them, something she had researched so completely she already had a list of universities she intended to apply to, along with possible companies to intern, all carefully tabbed in a binder at home that was also slowly filling with application and portfolio ideas.

Given that she was only fourteen and still had four more years before she reached the point of applying, she was ahead of the game. Perhaps she could be considering going to another lycée instead of the feeder for Collège Françoise Dupont, perhaps somewhere private that had a focus on fashion. But she didn’t want to put pressure on her parents, who would have to pay the tuition for such an institution, when she was already winning awards and making a name for herself through designing for Jagged Stone and the up-and-coming Kitty Section, among others.

“For instance, being a superhero is not a viable career path,” was what made her tune in, her attention fully pulled to Mme. Bustier, who seemed to be looking right at her.

What.

The.

Fuck.

Marinette felt frozen by that stare, pinned like a ladybug by an entomologist. How could she know? Did other people notice her stare?

“Ladybug is almost certainly harming her civilian future through these superhero antics, which prevent her from fulfilling all her obligations.”

Alya snorted. “That’s not Ladybug’s fault—it’s Hawkmoth’s. Ladybug protects the city. And maybe Paris should pay her for her services!”

“Ladybug is a teenager who should be concentrating on school,” Mme. Bustier declared, still staring holes into Marinette.

“Ladybug has never released her age,” Adrien murmured, his voice sounding strained. “So that’s conjecture, Mme. Bustier. How does this have to do with our future careers?”

To her horror, he turned and followed her gaze to Marinette.

She felt as though she might hyperventilate, panic rising in her gut. If she was compromised, that put her family and friends at risk, put the Miracle Box at risk, played right into Hawkmoth’s hands. She’d never been good at a poker face, and she wasn’t sure whether she was managing now.

Adrien’s eyes widened, and she knew she’d failed, at least with him. Kwami, she hoped she could trust him.

“I’m glad you asked, Adrien. For instance, Marinette, would you please share your current preparation for your future career.”

All eyes were on her, and she could feel the thoughts swirling around them as she was called out. She swallowed, trying to push it all down.

“I-I… I have a binder. At home. F-fifteen different universities with fashion p-programs. In order of where I want to go most. Also c-companies that offer internships.” She took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves—it helped a bit. “I’ve started my portfolio, including the b-bowler hat that won M. Agreste’s contest, and my work for Jagged Stone and Kitty Section, and p-pictures of clothing I’ve designed and made.”

She could hear murmurs around her, and Alya gave a low whistle beside her.

“Girl, no wonder you don’t sleep. You’re on top of this!”

Mme. Bustier’s mouth became a thin line, her lips pressed together as though she was irritated.

Marinette wished keenly that Master Fu was still around, could handle this situation. She’d come to realize Mme. Bustier was a terrible teacher, enabling bullying and shaming victims as though they were at fault for their treatment. But this was a whole new level of awful.

“Still, the way you run off during Akuma attacks interrupts your daily life and prevents you from—”

“We all run away during Akuma attacks! They disrupt all our daily lives.”

Adrien stood, his back rigid from tension.

“Marinette has been personally targeted multiple times during Akuma attacks. So have I! A lot of this has been documented on the LadyBlog. It’s traumatizing—and we keep our memories of that because we’re not the Akuma. I run and hide, personally. Why would you shame Marinette for that?”

The class fell silent, and glancing around Marinette could see the tension in their faces, their own memories of being chased by Akuma.

Adrien had moved this away from the idea of Marinette being Ladybug to her being shamed for her reaction to Akumas. He was protecting her. And she loved him all the more for it.

“There was Evillustrator,” Marinette murmured, jumping on the red herring.

She glanced at Nathanaël apologetically. He offered a sad smile.

“I had to help Chat Noir with that. It was scary. André Glacier became Glaciator and came looking for me, and Chat Noir saved me from getting frozen. And Gamer was looking for me. Chat Noir saved me again.”

She could see Max wince across the aisle.

“Reflekta turned me into her clone because she was mad at me. And it was my fault.”

Marinette turned and mouthed ‘sorry’ to Juleka.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Juleka whispered, then cringed as she realized her voice had carried far enough for everyone to hear.

She smiled, then turned back to the front.

“My own grandmother tried to turn me into coal when she was Akumatized because she was upset I wasn’t like eight years old anymore—Chat Noir saved me again there, too. And then my dad was Akumatized and Chat Noir and Ladybug had to save me again.”

Marinette hadn’t been able to transform, needing to be saved as a civilian before she could get back as Ladybug. Too many of them had been so public she’d had to trust Chat Noir would be able to hold his own until she got there—and she did, but she was afraid sometime that would be fatal.

“And I saw footage when Adrien was dropped from a building and then when Volpina pretended to drop him from the Eiffel Tower. That’s terrifying!”

She didn’t turn around to look at Lila. Instead she looked at Adrien, who was still standing, alternating between glaring at Mme. Bustier and glancing back at her with concern in his eyes.

“And then there’s mind control Akumas, like with Miracle Queen. I’m scared of Akumas, Mme. Bustier. Even when they’re across the city, they won’t always stay there, and I want to hide. And I refuse to be ashamed of that!”

It wasn’t a lie, either. Civilian her absolutely wanted to hide—and did, just behind a mask.

She turned her attention to the teacher, keeping her back straight, remembering she had Adrien on her side, even if she wished he didn’t know—damn Bustier for that. Marinette steeled herself.

“I don’t understand why you’ve singled me out to try to imply I alone am somehow failing to perform because of Akumas, but you always seem to do this. I’m at fault for being bullied. I need to be an example and not react when my belongings are destroyed and my locker is broken into. Or when someone gets me expelled by somehow putting test answers in my bag and a new Gabriel-brand necklace—supposedly an heirloom—in my locker that’s been broken into before. I’ve spent the last year feeling I’m not allowed to have emotions. But this is the last straw.”

Marinette stood, picking up her bag. When she glanced down Tikki was giving her the Kwami version of a thumbs up.

“Frankly, Mme. Bustier, you have been toxic for my mental health for quite some time. Time I’ve spent researching to discover what you’re doing isn’t appropriate for the classroom; it’s abusive and reportable. If you’ll excuse me, I need to speak to the M. Damocles, as well as my parents. And perhaps the Board of Governors, as I am no longer willing to tolerate this treatment and its continued harm to my education.”

With that, she marched down the stairs, past an open-mouthed Bustier, and out of the classroom, holding her head high.

Once in the open hallway, clear of the windows, she deflated.

“Well, fuck,” she whispered. “I guess I get to do research on a new collège, too.”

She supposed, at least, she’d been successful at diverting Bustier from the Ladybug accusations; the last thing she needed was for Ladybug-hater Lila to know and come after her.

“You and me both.”

Adrien’s voice behind her nearly made her jump out of her skin. She was relieved to see no one else had followed him. She could hear the hullaballoo of the classroom behind her, all control having been lost.

He quirked a grin. “We’re in it together, Bugaboo. As always.”

She stared, feeling like there was a hamster lolling on the wheel of her thoughts instead of running to turn it.

Adrien took her arm. “Come on. I’ll support you. Let’s go talk to M. Damocles.”

“Ch-Chat?” Marinette managed in a hiss as her brain finally caught up.

He gently guided her forward. “My Lady.”

She wasn’t sure whether she wanted to laugh, cry, scream, or some combination of the three. But as they approached M. Damocles’ office, Marinette pushed the issue aside.

After all, she had work to do, and Ladybug didn’t leave work unfinished.

[animeloversworldsblog]

Mahiru hiragi an abuser and manipulative person

The fact that kagami portrays mahiru as the biggest victim is because her family already show abusive behavior, and the hiragi family has been abusing their children for a long time and since she was alone she had no other choice but to transform into a demon.

This is the biggest justification towards Mahiru, her behavior comes from what her family did to her.

It’s important to remember that experiencing or witnessing abuse as a child does not cause someone to be abusive or victimized when you grow up, or excuse any abusive behavior. Abuse is a choice - anyone can choose to abuse or not abuse.

justifying mahiru's actions based on her family made her an abusive person and that make her a victim.

Okay, mahiru is a genius right? She could have looked for options to help herself, instead she did the same thing that her family has done in 1200 years, use dark power to favor herself and since she is supposed to be stronger than others, that gives her the right to play with people as she wants. What makes her different from her family and portrays herself as the greatest victim when she eliminates her frustration, her hatred on others, in society? Mahiru wants vengeance, it's what she has been looking against her family and who is behind all of this and is's been mentioned it on several occasions. She wanted to be a normal girl to get married and have children, and something I do not understand is that people justify this because she was a victim of her family and that gives her the right to use and take her frustration by punishing others based on coming from an abusive family and she was born and possessed by demons.

Now, what I see, didn't guren want a normal life? I don't know, maybe shinya? How about goshi and mito? And sayuri and shigure? How about everyone else? Didn't everybody deserve and look for a normal life? Is that the excuse to say that Mahiru is a good person?

Mahiru hates hiragis and the one behind this who is shikama. But in the end she is just like them and the worst take out her anger and frustration with innocent people to make them see that she is the most suffered victim of all of them. Her decisions was her own and not one forced her to be like that and did all that to people, was her choices, her will. She drags others to her loneliness because she can't bear to see others live their life, she goes against everything that gets in her way ... as a child she already presents the same pattern as her family and is full of pride towards herself and what she wants the most is vengeance that is her motive for doing that, for do all what she is doing that's why she repeats it every time she has, and makes others feel miserable. The fact of saying that the goddess was jealous of her beauty and wanted to take her soul .. It is because mahiru sees herself as the greatest victim of all people in the world, she is narcissistic to the extreme that she does not want anyone else to be the center of attention but her, and hates other human beings because they all live a normal life, they are useless, they are vile humans, you give them the slightest reason to doubt, and they tear each other’s throats out, to her human strength lies in naivete, weakness, and vileness and all of this make her uses everything she can to take vengeance against everything that comes across her.

Is like she was a victim but goes against other people bcs She is angry toward the world, blames the world for her life that she herself choose, looks for the causes in society and eliminates her frustration in them bcs all what she wants was stole and she excuse herself in "my family became me like this, is their fault all what i'm doing" and noooo that was her decision ... If she was a genius do something to help yourself just bcs she is full of hate doesn't mean she has to go and destroyed others life bcs she hate how they live and how she can't obtain it being a good person and a normal one, she has to force, push and pressure it to have it ... Her goal is vengeance on her family and shikama but all of this is being call her good girl and is trying to save the world from shikama and what she wants is vengeance..And no matter who get in her way to get that even if she became in a demon to get it..Is not for shinoa..Is not for guren...Not for humanity when she let clear that humans are disgusting. That is about vengeance bcs she wanted to be a normal girl that could marry and have childs ... Now i ask myself someone that abuse of her little sister and she discharges her frustration in abusing her little sister constantly, who abuses and experiment in other childrens of the same age as her sister (hyakuya children) and possessing guren she killed a little girl by cutting her in half, it can be said that it would have been a good mother? This kind of person who uses her hatred against others could be called a mother.? And the fact that she used her frustration all the time "i was abuse, bcs my family was abusive then I'm gonna show the others the pain i suffered and make you feel the same abuse i suffered" is this ok? She never care about the world she just wants to save herself

Why mahiru is an abusive, narcissist, manipulative person:

*She sees the world in black-and-white terms, including seeing others as enemies

*She seek to win at all costs and always leave a great amount of pain, frustration, and even heartache in her wake.

*She doesn't care about the pain she cause others and even enjoy it and experience it as empowering.

*She always does what it takes to prevent herself from loss, inconvenience, or failing to get what she wants in any situation.

*Sha has grandiose fantasies and behavior, such as a preoccupation with thoughts of her personal success, power, and attractiveness or sex appeal, she has little or no empathy for other people’s emotions or feelings

*She has a significant need for attention, admiration, and recognition an inflated sense of self-importance, such as a tendency to exaggerate her personal talent or achievements

*She has a belief in personal specialness and superiority

*She has a sense of entitlement

*She always takes advantage of others or exploit people for her personal gain arrogant or conceited behavior and attitudes

*She always has a tendency to envy others and believe others envy her

*She enjoys hurting others, she enjoy watching others experience pain

*She always shift the blame to her victims or other people

*She wants to hurt others when irritated or make her angry

*She enjoy humiliating others, especially in public situations

*She tend toward aggressive actions or behavior

*She behave in controlling or domineering ways

*She point out “flaws” and seem to enjoy making others feel discouraged or upset, or saying she is doing it for their own good

*She lies or manipulate others to achieve her own goals, and justify her behavior and show no guilt or regret if others call her out on it puts others down, humiliate them, or threat them, in public or private

*She enjoys inflicting physical harm

*She shows no interest in others needs or feelings

*She behave in risky or dangerous ways, without care if others people get hurt in the process

*She says or does unkind or cruel things and enjoy their distress

*She says or does unkind or cruel things and enjoy their distress

*She behave aggressively toward other people or things

*She constantly pass judgment on others.

*She places huge strains on others time and energy.

*She refuses to take responsibility or apologize for her actions.

*She controls or coerce another person by artful, unfair, or insidious (harmful but enticing) ways, especially to one’s own advantage.

*She not allows another person to choose their own action or response by overpowering them in some way.

*She achieves one’s own desires by bullying, restraining, or dominating another person.

*She wants others to feel sorry for her and responsible for all her problems— and then fix these problems too

There are a couple of things Mahiru is good at, although i can't even call something like that good at all.

*When it comes to controlling human beings there is no better instrument to her than lies. Because humans live by beliefs. And those beliefs to her can be manipulated. The power to manipulate beliefs is the only thing that counts to her

*Mahiru being a person with toxic qualities since she was a child make her a master in manipulation, an skilled liar, and a great actress.

*She is so skilled at working up the human heart by playing the double game, she gathered a lot of connections and keep stepping on them to reach her goals.

*She will always destroys things she can't get at all cost, she always will harm the people she hate.

All of this is what mahiru show in novel and present manga. She is an abuser, controlling, manipulative, and bad person. She like to played the victim role, when so many people were and are her real victims.

This is what i see...

[jordanr770-blog]

America Needs Some Talent

 I just needed someplace to write down my thoughts so here we are!

I have been watching America’s Got Talent since season 11 when the ukulele girl won. I personally didn’t vote for her but can understand why she won. Same goes for season 12. I was rooting super hard for Diavolo but can understand why puppet girl won. Season 13 had some of the best acts ever (Shin Lim-winner) and I know a lot of people disliked her, but Courtney Hadwin should have at least  gotten 5th place over sob story “I’m such a good person and I hit my wife” Michael Ketterer. Kodi Lee was the obvious winner of season 14 and I personally thought he deserved it over the other acts. Other people did not think it was well deserved, and that’s ok too.  

Last season we got a spoken word poet in the form of Brandon Leake. I did not enjoy the act AT ALL and was kind of mad that he won, but I will say that even though I did not enjoy him, spoken word poetry is indeed a talent.

Now, you may be thinking that season 16 would be a smidgeon of an improvement over season 15. Talent and reality shows should probably strive to become better every season. But if you thought this show isn’t capable of getting any worse, you haven’t been paying attention because this show will always find ways to disappoint. Last night we were told everyone voted for an INSPIRATIONAL speech giver as the winner. Or I’m sorry, apparently he does magic. His name is Dustin Tavella. But the thing is, he was HORRIBLE at both storytelling AND magic and nowhere near deserved the win. “It was well deserved.” How? How is a kindergarten level “magician” worth a million dollars and a Vegas show? I believe the show in Vegas is about an hour and a half and I am curious as to what is he going to do in that timeframe? Talk about how the folks living in Vegas are living in sin while simultaneously throwing paper in the air MAGICALLY? I’m sure the audience will go wild over that. Or maybe during all of his shows he will adopt a kid a day from different countries and then spend about an hour talking about Little ZimZam’s harsh life and while he’s babbling  he’ll be semi incorporating his poor magic skills into the act in the last minute so the poster stating he’s a magician didn’t TECHNICALLY lie so nobody is getting their money back. I really don’t know. I have a lot of thoughts. 

Plus, his sob story just did nothing for me whatsoever. Good for you for adapting 11 children, unless it has to do with whatever your act is, shut the hell up and do the trick! Not once did this guy impress  or give even the best of a performance of the night. It was always 8+ minutes of “inspiration” and tirades about how we as a society need to be good to one another whilst doing crappy magic. Let me tell you, I know next to nothing about magic but even I could tell he was a less than stellar magician. Even calling him a magician is somewhat laughable. In reality he's a motivational speaker who does terrible magic tricks and  who always somehow manages to suck at said terrible magic but America apparently doesn’t notice him screwing up his terrible magic because he’s too busy telling them to look at a crumpled up piece of paper or a ladder or the new photograph of his adopted son who has an extra eyeball or whatever. It’s stupid.

Last night for his final performance Dustin’s act was, and I kid you not, telling us all to be nice. FOR SEVEN UNNECESSARY MINUTES. And I do believe he started to fake cry. Dude, you’re acting is about as good as Heidi Klum’s. You can't act and you can barely do magic. Why are you here? What is your talent? Did he really join a talent show to become some type of inspirational God of obvious wisdom? If that’s the case, he should have gone and done a Ted Talk, many less victims of mediocrity that way. America somehow  put him in the top 5 with actually talented people? I think not. The act itself was not impressive and he did the same thing every time, just told a different sob story. If you have to rely on a sad story to win, you don’t deserve to win a show where talent is the main objective. 

In case my last few paragraphs were not made abundantly clear, I am not a fan of this dude. At all. I read a comment which stated that a message is not a talent and whoever said that is 100% correct and summed up my feelings pretty accurately. I'm not a fan or boring and basic tricks combined with even worse stories. He's the living embodiment of a motivational meme and anyone who voted for this guy is  gullible and can fight me. Maybe people “voted” for him because he attempted to pull on the heartstrings? But because I sold my heart long ago his act didn’t effect me as much. /s But I swear every year they make it more clear that the entire show is rigged. 

Well, maybe the voting ISN’T rigged entirely and all the boomers  (first time I’ve ever used that term) and antivaxxers and easily swayed by sob story people on Twitter and Facebook voted for him. Doubtful, but you never know. HE WAS SO FREAKING BAD!!!

We are all allowed to have opinions and just because you don’t agree with me that doesn’t mean I am an awful person who deserves DEATH. I keep getting responses and messages on Twitter from angry folk who are calling me heartless because I questioned WHY they voted for him. “Well, IIIII gave Dustin all 10 of my votes!” That’s nice Karen. That is also not an answer and I cannot stress enough how much I do not care that you voted for the phony used cars salesman. Go tell your Prince from Nigeria all about it. Another guy got mad and reported me for “yelling at strangers.” Which is kind of a typical thing people do on Twitter. And I wasn’t even yelling! Lol. 

And another point I’d like to make (about this and  in general) is people really need to stop using the terms “all of us” and the word “we.” I am my own person and you do not get to speak for me. 

“We were all crying when we saw him perform!” - No WE most certainly weren’t. I was seething with anger, yes. Crying? Not even close.

“His magic touched all of our hearts!” WHAT MAGIC? WHERE WAS THE MAGIC IN THIS MANS ENTIRE ACT? I MUST HAVE MISSED IT AFTER I PASSED OUT FROM HIS 7 MINUTE LONG STORY ABOUT HIS BORING LIFE. 

His win was a complete insult.

* I personally voted for Aidan Bryant, but I really wanted Unicircle Flow to win before they got kicked off due to the judges having a tendency to suck at picking during judges choice. *

Edit: I apologize if this wasn’t articulated very well or if it seems I basically said the same thing over and over. To be fair it was 3 am when I wrote this and I was still irritated and questioning everything. Still doesn’t excuse the fact that this guy was lame and doesn’t deserve a Vegas show. My mom told me earlier today that people on the Internet are mad about his win and that it’s not fair to take it out on the guy, which I suppose is kind of true. Not exactly his fault the general public has failed and shown their stupidity yet again. If anyone is to blame it is the people who actually voted for this doofus. And AGT. And yeah, I guess I will blame him as well. But I’m not saying go to his Twitter or Instagram or whatever and call him out for being a con artist and bully him. 

I think the MESSAGE =P I’m trying to display here  is that someone has no business being on a talent show unless they have talent; self explanatory. A message isn’t talent. Being a narcissist isn’t talent. Exploiting your kids and wife isn’t talent. Speaking can be a talent (comedy, that poetry guy, acting, improv, probably a lot of other stuff I’m forgetting about) but one shouldn’t call themselves a magician if one is really a way less cool garage sale version of Talky Tina. Magic IS talent but if you want a million dollars you better have skills that are on par or better than the professionals. 

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Hot take: Bakugou's character wouldn't survive if not for the one he kept abusing all his life. 90% of his character revolves around his victim and yet the fandom paints him as this super developed, fleshed out character when in reality he'd never be anything bigger than a side character if not for Deku.

Also the concequences he supposedly received are just him being teased or not getting the win he wanted, no being kidnapped doesn't count, he literally got away with his shit while even been treated like a victim and the privilege to know something about Deku that isn't any of his business. And now because he sacrificed himself that one time the fandom acts like Izuku owes his ass anything. It's disgusting.

I have given up on him actually being half the decent character ppl make him out to be and the fandom reaction to him makes me hate him even more.

He's not complex, he's just a pretty boy, asshole archetype who gets nicer and has some more cooperative and ppl love to eat that shit up while making up stuff for him. He changes but he's doesn't change for what matters and definitely pales in comparison to other characters who are better written than him.

(holy shit, did they remove the character limit on asks?? omg a GODSEND)

Well yeah, if it weren’t for Izuku and how he treats Izuku he wouldn’t have anything to improve from; people only think he’s developed because he no longer outright bullies him and “””worries””” (I say in heavy quotes) about him, and “reflects” on how he treated him even though he.......... comes to the absolute wrongest, most idiotic conclusions imaginable, that put the brunt of the excuses on Izuku instead of himself, but Toshinori validates him because Horikoshi has made Toshi into Bakugou’s uwu stan and stan of the two boys’ “friendship” (completely ignoring the fact that THIS KID FOR TEN YEARS BULLIED HIS SON). He’s basically already been devolved to acting like a side character for a long time now, with his funny anger quirk pun partly intended that’s just treated like a joke at this point, just like everyone else’s character quirks, even though it would be far more interesting for him to, you know. actually get some therapy and learn to calm himself and become an actual pleasant person to be around. But that’s not what makes him “funny”, that’s not him, according to most people, so he’s always going to stay like this, a boring angry pomeranian who flies off the handle at everything for no reason, who has done the absolute bare minimum of “changing”, which makes him a perfect character in everyone’s eyes.

“He changes but doesn’t change for what matters” pretty much sums up the problem with him in a nutshell, and is the exact reason he frustrates me so much, that I’ve ranted about plenty before. Bakugou has never been viewed through the lens of a bully, an abuser, he was never set up to be that, at least not realistically, and so his development hasn’t happened in accordance with that setup either, and people don’t have a problem with it and actively praise it because the manga actively downplay(ed)s the severity of that origin story. People can ignore the reality of how seriously traumatic being bullied for ten years of your childhood, verbally and physically would be, and how seriously and with such sensitivity such a relationship and character arc must be handled, because aside from the very first chapter when Izuku and Bakugou are still in middle school, really, with the “take a swan dive off the roof” comment and others, it’s never focused on in that way ever again; ever since, it’s just been treated as a typical anime “rivalry”, that both of them need to better themselves to overcome. The story and teachers say “the two of them are so alike but they just keep missing each other; if they just made up for each others’ weaknesses and understood that they both want the same thing, they’d be stronger together!”, and Izuku HIMSELF tries so hard to reach through to Bakugou, always still considering him his friend, always feeling like he’s the one equally at fault for their relationship being as rocky as it is, when BAKUGOU!!! FUCKING!!! BULLIED HIM!!! FOR TEN YEARS. bullied a DISABLED CHILD, which again, as a disabled person who relates to Izuku and how he felt about his quirklessness, feelings that continue to affect him even long after he gets a quirk because of how he was treated when he was younger, is DEEPLY unsettling to me. You CANNOT read/watch MHA without the metaphor of quirklessness = disabled being very apparent, and so that makes Bakugou’s bullying and how it is so utterly glossed over and purposefully forgotten a hundred times more disturbing and aggravating than it already is! If this were any other shounen rivalry then yes, it could be resolved with effort from both parties, because both parties have their own personal reasons for why they have trouble getting along with the other, and the fun is watching to see how they will overcome those, but Izuku and Bakugou were never on an equal playing field to begin with; this is a bullying story, with its victim trying desperately to win over and befriend his abuser, when he owes him absolutely NOTHING and has a BOATLOAD of unresolved issues thanks to said bullying, with no outside help from adults for either of them because none of them are acknowledging it as fucking bullying. I guarantee you that if the manga went into much more painful, bleak detail and showed many more flashbacks of how Izuku was treated by Bakugou in the past, and then still continued with the “development” he’s had since, people would be unable to ignore it like they can now, and it would make all of them extremely uncomfortable like it does those of us now who already dislike him. Hori himself has said he doesn’t understand why Bakugou is so popular, but he’s able to just continue as he does with him because no one is complaining, and because he said he regrets making him so awful in the beginning, as if that magically makes it disappear as much as it already has in 90% of the fandom’s collective mind. You wanna know an actual good manga that also deals with a bully of a disabled child growing and improving himself and forming a close relationship with his former victim? A Silent Voice. Such a journey is long, and hard, and it is painful, with many ups and downs and many nasty, hateful, guilt-filled, depression-filled feelings from both sides, along with from other characters who either also partook in the bullying, were bystanders to it who did nothing, or were indirect victims as well. The bully is bullied himself after what he does, and then grows up nearly suicidal, closing himself off and struggling to be social and make new friends because he doesn’t know how and doesn’t entirely feel like he deserves it (and the story notably doesn’t go the route of “he was abused too at home and so that’s why he bullied”), and tries and fails many times to make amends with the person he hurt before he finally is at peace with himself and everyone; the victim, meanwhile, drowns in continued guilt and suicidal feelings over feeling like she’s a burden to others, both from her disability and from watching all the infighting and victim blaming and finger pointing that ensues between her old classmates when all of the nasty emotions are brought back to the surface, along with dealing with budding romantic feelings for her past bully when he genuinely starts being kind towards her and making an effort to connect with her. ASV is entirely about this complex narrative, it’s able to dedicate everything it has to telling this story tactfully and with all the time and attention it needs. MHA, meanwhile, is a shounen battle manga, and so it was never going to do this narrative and Bakugou’s arc justice, even though I honestly think it could have if Hori really wanted to, because Izuku and Toshinori’s relationship has such masterfully subtle and touching emotions and care, at least early on; Horikoshi knows how to write good, subtle character arcs. I’m not asking for something ASV level, of course not, when the series has so many other things it has to juggle. I just wanted Bakugou to be treated as exactly what he is: a former bully, who can be taught, and learn, and reflect, and change, and become a better, more humble, more interesting person, and actually become someone worthy of all the praise and love he gets, not only for Izuku’s sake, but for his own, as well. They don’t excuse his actions in the slightest, but it’s still undeniable that Bakugou himself is a victim of how the adults in his life have treated him and raised his own expectations of himself, giving him the crippling insecurity issues he has, and that they continue to harm him (and Izuku) by simply letting him continue to go on angrily the way he does, instead of getting him help and some therapy in order for him to change and heal from things like being kidnapped by villains (which is no small thing to go through!! on top of his guilt over Toshinori’s final battle!) and becoming a better person to the one he hurt in the past, and it all just makes me so sad, not because I’m all “uwu poor Bakugou”, but just cause his character deserves better, as a person he deserves better, just like Izuku deserves better than everything he’s gone through because of him. This is all just a very long-winded way of agreeing with you OP that yes, none of Bakugou’s “punishments” for his behavior mean anything because he’s punished as a rival student who needs to humble himself in order to get along with his friend he doesn’t like, not as a former(??) bully who needs to be separated from his victim. The bar is set so low, was never set where it should be, and so absolutely no progress to “better himself” Bakugou makes either will mean anything, as long as it’s never acknowledged that he needs to make amends as a bully and abuser.

[mcheang]

Kind Adrien, Jealous Chloe

What if Adrien decides to fight back against Lila? After Oniichan. Now he knows her lies are bad and she is out to hurt people, like Kagami and Ladybug.

So we have a kill em with kindness, only Adrien’s the killer this time.

Lila is disabled? Purchase the suitable medical equipment to make sure she is supported. This way, classmates don’t have to help her. And now Lila has to carry this junk around.

Lila knows so many celebrities? Adrien makes sure to ask about them every day to see if Lila had gotten word in. He doesn’t care about what Lila does with them, he wants to know when she will introduce their classmates to the celebrities. After all she promised to recommend them and Adrien is so excited to see his friends make their dreams come true. Lila eventually confessed that she doesn’t want to use her friendship with the celebrities like that as it feels like she is taking advantage of their friendship. Her classmates understand and leave it at that. But their interest in Lila lessens.

Lila wants to spend time with Adrien? Oops, too busy, sorry. Already made plans with Marinette.

Yeah...Adrien doesn’t really hang out with Lila. He just passes her the aid equipment he heard would be useful for whatever illness she had.

Marinette knows that Adrien knows Lila is lying, so she isn’t too bothered, especially when Adrien gives her winks after he is done interacting with the liar.

Adrien’s attention to Lila irks Chloe so much that she replaces Marinette with Lila as her new victim. Adrien has always spent more time with Marinette and Alya than any other girl so she ignores that he is spending more time with the Asian girl.

Chloe trips Lila to spill food all over her outfit.

Chloe steals Lila’s phone so she can delete her celebrity contacts. But there are none, not even Adrien is in there lol

Chloe dumps Lila’s phone and lets the Italian search for it frantically.

Chloe sends Sabrina to Lila’s house to look for dirt. Lila doesn’t have a diary. But Sabrina hacks her computer and discovers the backdrop of Achu. Suspicious, Sabrina checks her medical records and Lila is healthy!

Chloe persuaded her dad to invite the Italian embassy over for a surprise meal. There, Mrs Rossi reveals that she thought the school had been shut down for months. She was wrong. Chloe suggests she talk to the principal first before she listens to another lie from her Daughter.

The next day, while Mrs Rossi talks with the principal without Lila being aware of it, Chloe triumphantly enters and exposes Lila.

“You little liar! It’s one thing to boast about knowing celebrities, but skipping school and discrediting Ladybug?”

Lila tears up. “It’s not my fault I know so many famous people. And I don’t know what you’re talking about. I never skipped school. I was in Achu. And Ladybug is my Best Friend!”

Chloe snorts before giving Lila an evil smile. She had wanted to slap the liar when she heard what Mrs Rossi had been told about Ladybug. No one disses Lady Luck in Chloe’s presence.

“Did you know that my daddy was having a meal with the Italian embassy yesterday?”

Lila pales.

“Imagine everyone’s surprise when a Mrs Rossi claims that Ladybug is incompetent because the akumas she failed to stop had closed our school for months!”

Cue class gasping.

Adrien kind of wishes he had popcorn.

Marinette is hiding her grin behind her hands.

Alya turns, looking hurt. “Why would you say that about Ladybug?”

Lila turns to Adrien for help. But while Adrien never exposes her lies, he won’t lie to his classmates about this. He stares back, impassive as a marble statue.

“I... Chloe’s lying!” Lila blurted.

Chloe studied her nails. “Why would I lie? Your Mother is currently in the office with the Princi-“

“Will Lila Rossi please come to the Principal’s office. Now.”

Chloe shrugs then gives the fuming girl a smirk. “Next time, try coming up a lie for why you have a hair-don’t. It’s shouldn’t be as exposable as your truancy.”

Lila glares, hoping with all her heart that an akuma will come.

It does, turning her to Concealer.

Concealer covers up the truth, forcing everyone to believe her lies.

Queen Bee also returns. Ladybug thanks Chloe for defending her.

Lucky Charm: spray bottle of some cleaning fluid. Ladybug sprays it in Concealer’s eyes. Chat cataclysm the floor she is standing on. Queen Bee stings her so she can’t move her mouth.

They win.

Queen Bee makes a spiteful comment that maybe Hawkmoth was telling Lila using Concealer’s name that she should do something about those spots of hers. Lila is humiliated and runs off.

Ladybug takes Chloe aside and tells her that Queen Bee can’t make a return because people know her identity and will use it against her. But if Chloe becomes nice, Ladybug will give her a chance to become a new hero, providing that Chloe can keep the secret.

“I’ll be watching you, Chloe. Remember that.”

Aftermath

Lila is suspended indefinitely for the time being for her truancy.

Alya exposes Lila on her blog and apologises for not checking her sources.

After Lila is exposed, Adrien starts to realize he might have feelings for Marinette. Chloe wants to bully Marinette so badly when she sees Adrien lavishing all his attention on the baker girl, but refrains, reminding herself of her hero goal and that Ladybug is monitoring her progress.

Soon enough, her efforts are rewarded.

After a comment on my Secret Santa Clause fic referred to the kill em with kindness stories. I browsed around and viewed a couple. And then I realize, we see Marinette doing the killing, but what about Adrien. So I wrote this and even in the end, while Adrien was the cause, Chloe is the real killer. Oh well, at least Adrien still fought back.

[picturejasper20]

Malachite Character Analysis

(Warning: Mention and analysis of a very toxic relationship.)

¨These two are really bad for each other. Malachite was formed through extortion and deception and held together out of revenge. Malachite is the worst relationship imaginable.¨

Malachite was a character that was introduced in Season 1 finale "Jailbreak" after Jasper and Lapis Lazuli decided to fuse together to defeat the Crystal gems.

In this post i'm going to examine Malachite as a fusion and what she tells us about Jasper and Lapis and their relationship.

Lapis Lazuli´s and Jasper´s backstory:

First let's talk a bit about Jasper's and Lapis´ past:

Steven first found Lapis trapped in a Gem mirror, after spending some time with her, he decided to free her and later healed her gem so she could return to Homeworld by using her magic water wings.

In the episode ¨Same Old World¨ (Season 3) Lapis tells to Steven her backstory about how she got trapped in that mirror.

¨It was thousands of years ago. I was only meant to visit for a short time, but I got caught in the middle of the war. It was awful. I tried to run, but... I was picked up by a Homeworld soldier and confused for a Crystal Gem, and used as a tool.¨

Lapis talks about what happened to her as it was an accident, a terrible tragedy in which there´s not only one person she can blame for all her problems. In a way, she´s potrayed as victim of the Gem war, she was on Earth for a visit and then she was meant to leave.

She was treated as a prisoner from gems who were supposed to be on her side, used as a tool and left behind on Earth like her life was nothing.

¨It soon became clear that there was no hope in stopping the rebellion. All of the Homeworld Gems fled, and all the panic of escaping Earth, I was left behind. And there I stayed. Freedom in my sight, but out of reach for ages, until I was found.¨

Then she spend thousands of year trapped in that mirror, alone, with no one to talk to, with her gem cracked on top of that. Anyone stuck in that situation who quickly became insane and would definely not be the same person that used to be before the traumatic event.

It´s not suprising Lapis was so angry when Steven free her from that mirror. While she didn´t want to get revenge on the Crystal gems she still had a lot of anger and frustration buried deep inside her.

As for Jasper, her backstory differs greatly from Lapis��:

Jasper was born in the middle of the gem war in the Beta Kindergarten, in less than a few hours she took more than 80+ Crystal gems impressing many Homeworld gems due to her strengh.

She was considered a gem role model in Homeworld, she was an example of what a quartz soldier should be. The issue was that depiste being highly respected by her peers, she couldn´t get out of her mind that she still was a gem that came from the worst kindergarten on Earth.

According to Peridot on ¨Beta¨ most gems born in the Beta Kirdengarten came out flawed or defective in some way. This was because Homeworld rushed the place during the war to get more gems. 

Jasper was one of the few gems that came out ¨right¨ to the point she could be considered a superquartz soldier by Homeworld´s standards.

However not matter how much praised she got, Jasper thought there was something with her because of her origins. This made her develop an  obsession with proving her power and getting more and more self-destructive as time passed.

¨Jasper is a bully in the truest sense. Deep down, she's afraid there's something wrong with her, so she has to feed her ego. She has to put other Gems down to stay on top. Who she is and where she's from gnaws at her all the time. She has a fantastic reputation, she's considered the greatest Quartz soldier produced on Earth, and that might impress other Gems, but it will never be good enough for her.¨

¨Because she loves honor, fighting, making her mark, and winning the battle, she'll actually go against her programming a little bit just to be the winner. So she can be self-destructive at times. She is tragically obsessed with proving her superiority.¨

Why is all this important? Well, it´s essential to know where these characters are coming from to understand why they decided to be Malachite in first place and why they were a recipe for disaster the moment that Jasper asked Lapis to fuse with her.

On one hand you have a gem that was spent thousands of years trapped against her will and carries a lot on anger and trauma inside her. On the other hand the other gem also has war trauma, it's very self-destructive and thinks she's horrible. Mix these two together and what you get is a unstable fusion made of hate and revenge.

Malachite as a metaphor for Jasper´s and Lapis´ relationship

Now that i have talked about their past. I going examine the scene in which they fuse into Malachite in "Jailbreak" and what the fusion tells us about their relationship.

After being defeated by Garnet (a fusion) Jasper decides to find someone she could also fuse with to win against the Crystal gems.

She spot Lapis Lazuli and grabs her before she can escape flying. She convinces Lapis to fuse with her to get revenge on Crystal gems. She reminds her how they used her and how they are traitors to Homeworld.

¨These Gems, they're traitors to their Homeworld. They kept you prisoner. They used you.¨

It's worth of pointing out that Jasper never tries to "force" Lapis into fusing with her in this scene. She tries using her, true, but she waits until Lapis accepts and gives her hand.

Now, Jasper could care less about Lapis in this scene. For her, she was only just a tool to get revenge on the Crystal gems and Rose Quartz. There wasn't any "trust" between the two.

As for Lapis, she tried escaping from Jasper first but after realising that she was about to being used again by someone who had kept her prisoner in the ship she snapped and decided to stop being treated like an object for once.

Moments later after they fused into Malachite, Lapis took control of the fusion's water powers and chained her down, dragging her into the bottow of the ocean.

¨I'm done being everyone's prisoner. Now you're my prisoner! And I'm never letting you go! Let's stay on this miserable planet... together!¨

As Lapis stated, she was done of being everyone's prisioner, she was tired of being treated like a tool by everyone. Control in her own life was something was constanly taken away from her. So by trapping Malachite (and herself) meant that was able to make choices again.

As for Jasper, i already mentioned that she only wanted Lapis to become more powerful. Jasper is a gem that shown to be obssesed with winning and fighting. She doesn't accept defeat easily and the more she loses, more self-destructive she gets.

In "Chilled tid" Steven gets a glimpse of what Malachite's mind looked like: Lapis and Jasper were fighting over the control of the fusion. They both were completely exhausted and beaten.

There's a visual methaphor about how they are both chained to Malachite in this dream sequence. This is very much like how it's really difficult to get out of a toxic/codependent relationship and how one feels trapped with no hope of getting out of it.

Another interesting detail is when Jasper takes control, all she's able to say is "YOU! YOU! YOU!¨ to Steven. It shows how crazy she gets when can't win a battle and how her mind deteriorates in the process.

The episode "Alone at the Sea" explores their relationship even further by showing which their main motivations were and how it affect them both.

First of all, the reason of why Lapis didn't want to be near the ocean again it's because it remind her of time she used to be fused with Jasper:

"Look, Lapis, I know you spent a really long time fused with Jasper at the bottom of the ocean, but you're not Malachite anymore.And water is a part of who you are. You can't let one bad experience take that away from you."

During the boat trip Lapis keeps blaming herself for the events of Ocean gem and Malachite:

"It's my fault. I'm the one to blame."

"I'm terrible! I did horrible things! I-I broke your dad's leg. I stole Earth's ocean! Go on! Tell me I'm wrong!"

She describes herself as "terrible". She thinks she don't deserve the kindness that Steven has giving her during all this time.

Lapis is a character who usually stuggles with change in the series. She thinks she won't be able to revover from her trauma, that she can't grow and become a better person.

She also mentions to him how she can't help but think of when she used to be Malachite.

"I'm really trying to enjoy it out here, but... I can't stop thinking about being fused as Malachite, how I used all my strength to hold her down in the ocean, and how I was always battling against Jasper to keep her bound to me."

"But it's not like that anymore. You don't have to be with Jasper."

"That's not it. I... I miss her."

"What?!"

"We were fused for so long."

This implies that after spending so much together Jasper and Lapis became codependent of each other. Steven, who was still a teenager in this scene, couldn't fully get grasp of why his friend who missed being in a terrible situation like that.

And Lapis was not the only one that felt like this.

When Jasper shows up, she shows she has been missing Lapis as well and she has been tracking her to find her.

In a very rare moment that would look out of character for her Jasper kneels down and begs for Lapis to be Malachite again.

¨Let's be Malachite again.¨  

Keep in mind that until know Jasper has always been potrayed as someone who would do anything it takes to win. She's tough gem soldier who isn't afraid of her enemies. She's strong,cocky and agressive. So why did she ask to be Malachite again?

"I was wrong about fusion. You made me understand! Malachite was bigger and stronger than both of us! We could fly!"

She emphazises Malachite's power when they were fused. How strong and powerful she was.

This makes sense considering the factthat Jasper thinks of herself as "horrible" and "defective". She has a huge inferiority complex that comes from how Earth gems are perceived on Homeworld.

So, being Malachite made her feel "complete" and cover up her insecurities and personal issues.

"It'll be better this time. I've changed. You've changed me. I'm the only one who can handle your kind of power."

She tries to convince Lapis by saying how she's the only one that can "handle" her powers. This shows again how self-destructive Jasper can be as she was willing to go through that pain again just to feel powerful.

Another reason, i think, it's because she partially blames herself for Pink Diamond'd shattering. She probably wanted to be punished for her "failure" or wanted someone who she could follow again much like she started calling Steven "My diamond" in "Homeworld Bound".

As for Lapis, there are a few reasons she had her doubts of being Malachite again:

1) The fusion was a way for her to gain control back on her own life. She was tired of being tricked and used by everyone that she wanted to take her anger on someone.

"I was terrible to you. I liked taking everything out on you. I needed to, I-I hated you. It was bad!"

Lapis wanted someone to go through the same pain she had to endure for thousands of years. And that someone could have anyone. She choosed Jasper as she was the closest one to her in "Jailbreak".

When she was separated, she felt she suddenly lost that great amount of power that the fusion gave to her. She lost that "control" she had.

2) During "Alone at the sea" she describes herself many times as terrible and how she doesn't deserve the boat trip. She keeps blaming herself from her actions and how she can't get better.

Jasper even calls Lapis a monster in a moment, stating they very much alike:

"You can't lie to me. I've seen what you're capable of. I thought I was a brute, but you... you're a monster."

Lapis wanted to go back to be Malachite since she thought it was what someone as terrible as her deserved. She thought she couldn't grow into good person. Gems terrible as her and Jasper were meant to be together.

But Lapis knew better than getting trapped in that fusion again.

"NO! ""What we had wasn't healthy. I never want to feel like I felt with you. Never again! So just, go!"

In the end she refused to fuse with Jasper and realised how toxic their relationship was. It was a terrible experience and something she didn't want to take part in ever again.

Malachite as a character

Being fusion who is supposed to represent an very toxic relationship, Malachite is potrayed as very agressive, unstable and sadistic. She´s quite unpredictable since her actitude depends of who it´s taking control of her.

When her eyes are ¨cat shaped¨ it usually means that Jasper is the one controlling her. If her eyes are wide and open, it indicates Lapis is the one in control.

It´s difficult to affirm Malachite ever had her own personality at all,as her components were always fighting over her power and she was a mere tool from the moment she was ¨born¨.

¨A fusion like theirs is unstable, bound together by anger and mistrust. If that bond snaps, their anger will take over, and destroy.¨  

She ends up being a pretty tragic character as her whole existence was filled by hatred and suffering to the point she didn´t know anything else. Unlike other characters from Steven universe she wasn´t given the chance to redeem herself.

It´s interesting how Malachite in ¨Super Watermelon Island¨ kept exchaching between ¨we¨ and ¨I¨ to talk about herself. This indicates again that she wasn´t fully her own person.

If Lapis and Jasper were to fuse again after having worked through their issues, Malachite would be a more stable and less agressive fusion. But that´s very unlikely to happen since it was a terrifying experience for both of them.

In conclusion: Malachite is character with tons of metaphors that talks a lot about Lapis and Jasper and who they are as people. She serves to show how toxic some relationships can get when there is a lack of basic trust and understanding and is created by mutual hatred. It´s an example of how complicated relationships can be and how a person it´s really more complex they appear to be.